a long updated post

it has been quite a long time since i post something...to those that wanted to hear my 'emo problems' wif 'much enthusiasm'...i apologise for the disappearance act. cos these few days or weeks have been very busy for me....let me recount as much as i can yea? haha....

i dunno whens the last time i feel like posting le....i now like machiam quit playing jubeat le...konami is still a bastard. but anyway...i oso no time to play jubeat. let me recall abit more. ah yes..my cca chalet. i go for the chalet and find it fun n had a wonderful experience. i wanted to let them watch batsu game hospital edition and or version but forgt to bring my charger set. best -.-" . kl brought the drinks that me, kl, daniel and morgan kup to buy. we bought absolute vodka and baileys original. 1st nite daniel intro me anchor beer. taste...soso nia...until the 2nd day. so anyway...1st nite gt bbq and i ate practically nthing for the entire bbq, but i was too engross wif playing mahjong wif my friends. ppl always say that "when one plays mahjong, one will show his inner self whether he wants it or not." i find this sentence very true cos i observe one guy while he is playing wif us...he's luqman, beside the fact that he is not very good at playing. he curse and swears whenever some1 pong his tile or something and always say " fck la...lost alrdy" or " cannot win alrdy" adding to the fact that its depressing, its also fcking irritating to me...can see his face turn black lor....can sense other players arnd him oso diam diam...haiz...but then after that estella came wif her family, her brother was so cute when he play mahjong wif us. XD. cant use words to describe! he's jus cute!. yea...then after bbq and mahjong and everything, its time to open up the alcohol , again, luqman wanted to join in cos apparently, he, nver drank b4 becos of his religion. we ask him if its alright and he said its ok....so yea we shrugged and let him in our drinking group. we all pour mixes as beginning while talking and playing card games. arnd the tables are me, morgan, daniel, estella, luqman.(cheryl join us later) and we all finish our mixes without any difficulty. then luqman start to stand up and said he felt good. and goes arnd us talking and saying he is not drunk and such....(he is..if not he's high) and he is somehow oblivious to the fact that we ALL are silent and playing our card or watching him walking arnd. then he went back to slp. i think it was at that time my impression of him started to crumble. then later at nite cheryl join our drinking session and i act drunk by asking if she wanted to drink kneat =D...so i pour her a shot of vodka and said " eh...wait..i give u rock!" and so i took a clean cup and scooped a chunk of ice and then proceed to wobble towards her seat. haha...i still rmb wad i said
" hey...gib me ur rock"
-cheryl hands over her cup of vodka-
"hmm? thats liquid...where my rock?"
-look at my hand -
"ahh!! theres my rock!"
then i pour the ice into her cup and she asked " hey...u ok mah?" i replied :" im fine" then suddenly i walk back straight and sat down as if nthing happens haha xD tht was then daniel said " dun worry, he can drink...he acting drunk onli "
dammit, expose me...><"

after some chit chats we all went to slp and estella complains her heartbeat very fast haha...maybe cos she slping wif eric, too excited liao =P. but then slping on the hard bed is hard...i manage to get some slp after 5am cos johan wake up and go home le...then morning comes and cheryl choose to slp on my bed...i woke up and jus stone infront of her...then she wakes up and when i saw she open her eyes, i said " good morning cher-" the sentence was nver completed cos she attempted to spearkick me when she 'stretch' her legs...she became my most effective alarmclock sia...im wide awake le...then we go wild wild wet...play until evening. along the way we keep telling him that he gt drunk and spout nonsense the day b4 and he jus.dun.admit zzzz...anywaygo eat dinner, go back chalet rest. and along the way, luqman, still say he is good at drinking(bullshit much?) and as statedby my friends, he said he can drink wadeva i drink and drink btr than me" its when i snapped and jus tell him " since u say u can drink, later i give u 2 shots"and later when we are back to drinking session wif the grp. i pour him 2 shots worth and tell him " drink up! i dun care how u drink it i want the cup to be emptied!" he give the wah-lao-liddat-lah look and tbh, i dun give a fuck. and he said " fine i drink" and drank everything down and said " see? im not drunk! ha!" well...its vodka...side effects can onli be seen later...wad an asshole...in the end daniel ask him to go back to the chalet and slp. and he agreed to it and was knock out soon after...it was then i jus explode....knnccb...wanna challenge wif me drinking issit. i may not drink well. but i know fucking well ur not a fcking drinker and if u cant drink dun challenge someone who drinks more than u do. i had a plan in mind to get him to drink wif me until one of us gt knock out. which im pretty sure its him. not me. hell...my impression of him was alrdy down the drain.

day 3, its time for us to check out of chalet and we go home...but b4 we do that, daniel suggested going out again later during the day. and so we did. 5pm at bukit timah plaza, kl and daniel and estella were waiting for me at kfc...im late as usual ><" i was still in a groggy state and wad goes out of my mouth din register wif my brain so i reach kfc le i tell the person " change my marshmallow to coleslaw. they give me a "huh?" face and tell me " sry we dun have marshmallows....we onli have mash potatoes" OMG....DAM MALU LA....>///////<" . told them wad happen and they went rofl...literally ><". then we proceed to go mambo to play pool but it was packed wif JC ppl and so we went back to kfc to kill time. daniel actually brought chinese chess, and i actually rmb how to play it haha! manage to win estella after she think for a LONG time...then yea the person at mambo call up and tell us theres a table rdy. and we quickly ran up to play...turns out that estella dunno how to play and its the 1st time she is playing pool....1st step in learning is always slow...that i can understand...but to play a 30min match wif kl...its torturous...not for her..but for us xD. then after the pool session we went back home . realise we gt our new clique in npsc...xD

a bond thats so easy to make, but seems so diffcult to break

mon-team has officially disbanded. though its onli been a short while i alrdy miss the bondings that we had...as i recall, those bonds are so easily made u know, jus a short chat and intro is enuf to start chatting as if we are friends for 5 yrs when we met like wad? 5mins? .

during the time of the mons, we pratically meet up everyday. have dinner and talk crap after our game sessions. recently, we can still have dinner, but conversations topic seems to have run out. im thinking of semi retiring from jubeat le....until newer versions are out...

anyway...dam dam tired...later still nd to go mediacorp x.x....nites all

haiz...this feeling again..

i havent been blogging alot i know, i havent post abt my 21st birthday, i havent post abt all the events up until now...well...now that i have the time and energy to blog it out. my birthday celebration with my friends can be summarised in jus 1 word : simple.

theres not big bang, me and my friends going wild while celebrating our birthdays. its jus a day we gather to relax and have fun. during my actual 21st birthday. my parents bought for me a set of things : wallet, perfume and key holders. an expensive set i would say. i really thank them. thank you daddy and mommy for my presents! =D dad bought a regular cake and we did the usual birthday rituals again. as u can see, my birthday is not spent wif all the big party ,catering, friends and family come together...im jus me and my family together and then resume our everyday lives. certainly im happy for other ppl's 21st birthday. i mean its the very age where u can pratically do anything that was previously age restricted. shld be a fun age. but then i dun feel the vibe...i jus dun feel it. 21st birthday certainly marks a new life for me. a life of adults, im now worried abt bank a/c, school, expenses...and if i can add, girlfriends...

anyway...my friends book a chalet at sentosa and we tot its luxurious but then up its like a couple room. theres nthing to do, nthing to eat, nthing to play. ok maybe running and swimming is on the few activities we had in the morning. dinner and lunch were eaten at vivocity. and i break my own record for having taken the most taxi trip in 1 day.

on the final nite me and yk drank gin till we high but not drunk...did some real stupid things which is still considered fun to me. anyway...slpt like a log and wake up the nxt morning wif heavy hangover....omg the headaches ar~!!

and then i cab home....put my things and slp. thats how i conclude my 21st birthday celebration. ohoh...did i mention my friend gt really drunk that we had to carry him onto the bed and he slide off the bed again -.-".

wonder why im so pissed

amazing how this how fiasco started out as a comment made to me to take care of my friend btr...then it comes down to the jubeat team. can tell that friend of mine have alrdy misinterpret wad i said. fine.for some1 who is not playing jubeat. u dunno the politics and hows we do things, kick him out of the group? how can u kick one of the main founder of the group? *total shake head*

indirectly say im being inhumane sia....am i? yea i suppose i am. so say wad u want. i no longer want to retort. instead i will jus agree wif everything u said. cause less trouble for me and u.

wad i wanted to say have alrdy been summed up by wad i wrote in msn. up to u to read it and roughly understand, or dun give a shit

cny! a time to forgt and move on...

with an good look at the time, its 55mins away from cny!!! YAHOO!!! haha...but i do not feel happy about it, nor do i really look forward to it anymore...it has become a routine for me...this is a bad sign...but thats wad i feel. maybe its cos the day of my one and only exam is coming and i havent finish my revision yet!!! omg!! panic really sets in.

for cny is like my annual gathering of cousins. cause, normally, we go our separate ways and nver get in touch...unless we go grandmother's house. its a time for me to talk with my cousins. after all, they are with me annually for the past 18-21 yrs of my life.

the word forget. is a very funny word. cause it can make a person angry, sad, happy when used on different occasion. well....the situation now is that i said i wanna forgt. but actually, i cant. so wad do i do? i will try to break all connections. and then try to move on...the moving on part actually took less than a day. but the forgetting part is the hardest to get by.

friends i know for 5 yrs can actually show me attitude. just because i repeat a sem. A supposedly close friend of mine actually make me feel so belittled that i felt my pride have been pierced. truly, when i said i dun have true friends...this is my evidence for it.

aren't friends suppose to be there to console u when u are down?
aren't friends (especially close ones) know wad u hate the most and avoid it?
true friends are those stay when the world walks out...that is so true i believe in it 100%.
i said i dun trust ppl, thats a lie, i trust ppl too easily. so easy that i can get hurt.
casting aside snide remarks, insults shot towards me does not really harm me cos i dun really care. i will just smile and walk away. but taking in mind wad u said.

somebody once told me that in work u are being access all the time. and i fully agree cause i access my friends everyday. spotting his/her attitude, habits. i dun really take habit into heart cos, no one is perfect, i have my bad habits too. and believe me, if i list out the bad habits i have, its enuf to write a book. but i look at attitude alot. in fact, its one of the things i judge my friends everyday when i go out.

if u realise, i still say i gt friends. cos i gt alot of friends. true friends?hmm....after much reviewing. nah...im striking out a couple out of the list le.

anyway, i cant defer anymore. napha is coming, still have 6 fcking mths to go b4 i end my poly life and move on wif NS life. woot!! i alrdy know no one will come and send me off when i go tekong and honestly i dun anticipate any1 to come unless u count my family. 20th i hope i can be moved to tears...i really hope so.

and i really dun wanna care anymore. berate me and i will just say "so be it"

i know i said something horrible to her just now, but i dun wanna care le...if u wanna see attitude, im giving u one right now.

oh wow.....look at it! its now 13mins to cny!!!! haha!!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!

恭喜发财，万事如意，主里蒙恩！

and

情人节快乐 !!

how come the situation is reversed?

oh well...gotta face reality...sg girls ARE like that...their standards are THAT high....did i mention that they also lack the sense of reality?.

wad is clubbing? its define as a term for wasting money on pointless drinking and dancing....socialising is jus an excuse.

wad are expectations? it is define as a form of pressure form by one's self in the hope of not disappointing other ppl.

wad are flashbacks? it is define as a form of thought of the past that flashes thru ur eyes at a random particular moment

wad are flash forwards? it is define as an ability to know the consequences of one's actions. *
* it is an ability almost that of an prediction. not much ppl have this sort of ability.

--------------------------------------

in the end, she nver did reply my qn....

riight....

today had panel presentation. nver go well...gt fucked by the panel again....this time onli i kena. yst i notice i gt a block nose and dry throat...din thought much about since its been a common illness. so i pass it off....but it got worst at nite...and by todae when i wake up, i felt a sharp pain from my head...since i just wake up, again, i pass it off as some morning sickness. as the day goes on. i got more and more feverish, but i tot its the lack of slp and more ever, i still can tahan. so b4 the presentation, me and my fyp group chiong the ppt. im doing the calculations and was rather proud to say that i have done a good job for it....but then things din turn out this way....when i went into the panel room, i was alrdy feeling quite feverish le....manage to remain standing thruout the whole presentation and shooting from the panel....b4 i go in, msg X abt my sickness and the panel, haha she reply wif a jiayou...haha..yea i needed the support...then i tot of something mischievous, something...i know she will not say and wont say though i hope that she still reply. lol...there was no reply in the end. somehow im not surprised. its just that i feel that an additional boost would do me good in terms of morale...not that im disappointed and all...as the days go by...i felt weaker by the hour....its such a miracle i can muster the strength to walk to the bus stop and catch my bus. totally tired, headache, block nose and dry throat. go back home found out that i cant log in msn....feeling sucks......then i go slp le...hoping to regain my str again....but no...my temp rose from 37.1 to 37.7 and to 38.1 deg...nice. but im still not giddy. but with a splitting headache and a test tml...i would probably faint. lol...heng its not to be...my mom dabao fried rice and some noodles for the family...call me crazy but i ate the hong hong noodles and fried rice...and so tot i will def. be in coma the nxt day for high fever...lol...instead, the fever disappear and i slowly regain strength...lol! fighting poison wif poison siol lol...anyway...she did not reply my msges and tell me to stop sending those 'weird' msg....lol...my fault. u are right...ur not my gf...i shld stop sending daily msges. i realise, that i am but an irritant. from the way i see ur social network, ur in safe hands wif ur other friends.

LOL..
searching for the chc of 5 years ago
taken from a national day song :
(who are u my country~)
where are u...my chc~
===========================
bck to the days when all i had to worry is the damned exams and homeworks
bck to the days when i can laugh it all
bck to the days when i onli have 1 commitment :sch
bck to the days when i will slack wif my friends everyday after sch
bck to the days when i have no interest for anything except for planes
but those days will never come bck again
============================
will do some soul searching and will try to prevent myself from overdoing things.