in my mind....going thru so many things....just so many...

how to say....how to start...im flustered, im stressed out, im sick(yea i am) , im disoriented....why?why?why? perhaps i can shortlist them into afew things bah,
1)money
2)time
3)sch
4)ppl


money is never enough for me, no matter how much i try to save. there will be some stuff that i need to buy, some stuff i need for that month and strangely enough, all those stuffs are EXPENSIVE. yes i admit i spent alot on food. but hey, ppl need to eat. hope nxt mth(coming in 3 days time) will be enough for me.

nowadays i find that 24hrs is not enough for me. really too many things to do and too little time, everywhere is fill with restrictions. theres time limit for everything. i want more than 24hrs and that include the 8hrs of uninterrupted sleep. that will make 32 hours...doesnt sound that bad huh. if only thats true...well...human lifespan will shorten very quickly hahahaha....ha...ha.

school huh....how do i start...i can start with them sending me another warning letter. scare me thought i gonna get debarred again like applied mech. now that i think abt it...its always mechanics that got me into trouble...haiz...but in any case. yea timetable shld not be that jia lat...but i dunno why i cant get up in time...todae for example, i woke up late. but then i gt a bad cough and explain to tcher...heng. haiz..we got back our ct paper, i gt 48/100 how nice is that....and just as i tot icont is a gone case...i realise i pass it...64/100. not a good score but beats getting a 55. shld pay more attention to the tcher this term...ending liao...need to pass both modules oh yea...not forgetting project management. that makes 3. then get my cert. AND PROVE MY PARENTS WRONG.

did i let my parents down when im in poly? i suppose i did...repeating 1 sem is nver a good thing to say out. but hey how different issit for me to say out oso? i may look as if i couldnt be bothered by it. but actually i am. i dun cry out doesnt mean i dun care, i dun chiong doesnt mean i din learn my lesson. but i alrdy repeated 1 sem le...wad to do? life HAS to go on....u think i dunwan to go for my graduation WHICH IS SUPPOSE TO BE THIS YEAR LAST MTH!? of cos, my friends graduated i feel happy for them. why i dun feel sad? cos i know i will be graduating nxt year. im using all my Morales i can find to chiong finish my remaining modules...then the letter came...haha, turns out that my parents, like my lecturers are looking at me as a repeat student. how great is that? wonderful. last time if i hear those coming from my parents i will cry myself to slp...now? i really couldnt be bothered liao...they speak in dialect hoping im aslp and cant hear. never thought it will turn out to be this way...i WILL pass this freaking course and get my freaking diploma...

feeling really lonely now. i dunno how to explain this kind of feeling. its like someone in my life left me, just like how my grandfather did when he pass away. reading her blog has become like a routine habit for me...jus a click on her link and see if she is ok....her recent post jus hint me strongly that i have alrdy lost. haha....i shldnt be feeling this way towards her...i make sure i killed this feeling of mine alrdy. i know the outcome le...but......somehow or another, it always got revived. i dunwan to care anymore. leave jiu leave bah...after all, old friends go and new friends takeover. but memories will never go away, only...to change from sweet......sour.......salty and bitter in the end.Hmm...yea.as for me? well, i have no reason to feel lonely on the outside, after all, what are friends for ;) but for the heart? then yes,im lonely.

too many things to say too little time too little privacy...is there nobody i can trust? nthing in this world is safe for secrets.

L.O.V.E = Lack Of Volatile Empathy

i dunno wad that means but im writing it anyways...now that nearly everyone is looking down on me, i can safely say that im nearly on the verge of breaking down. thanks for crushing my morales and wadeva support i have. thanks....i repeat i WILL PASS MY COURSE AND GET MY CERT. THEN I GO NS AND THATS HOW IM GOING IN. LIVE OR DIE I DUN CARE LE...i have gone pass the limit where i wanna plead innocence...i gave up on that liao..no point....just......no point

just so many things to say but dunno how to start....here is not a really safe place to talk either......haiz

yikes!

i see my irevo, i really chua sai....last time i rmb, im ranked 5K+ now im nearly 10K mark wtf?! benami bastard, dunwan sell append to other countries...zzzzzzz

unfinished post

i have infact, lots of post i shld have post it up...but its always unfinished....when will i have the time to actually post everything up? *sigh*