fears

my team is slowly ignoring me....i dunno what to feel about this.
are they hating me cos of my incompetence? i have no idea, i stll have the innate fear they are plotting something against me.
my back might have alrdy have some knives already.
dunno...dun rly wanna care...but i knw i cant leave it alone.

...

its situation like this that i really REALLY dread going to work...or to face my colleague. when the things u cant solve and they solve it. it gives a feeling of "you are incompetent"....the look on their faces tells it all....it shows...dammit it all.

things i aim to get: a new desktop PC

was searching through forums for a decent PC that can support proper gaming as well as a decent function as how a computer should be.

saw this DIY rig :

Intel i5-4570 3.2Ghz
Asrock B85M-PRO
DDR3 1600Mhz CL11 Crucial 8GB single
SAMSUNG 24X Retail
WD 1TB Blue
MSI GTX760 Twin Frozr Gaming 2GB
Seasonic 520W S12-II
CoolerMaster N200 USB3.0 (non-window)

$1120


although it is $1120 for jus the CPU build. i am quite satisfied with it. now im lacking:
2x 24" SAMSUNG LCD monitor
1x Razor Tarantula keyboard 2013 edition
1x Razor mousepad
1x wireless port.
total cost should be around 1.6K.

software:
- windows 7
- microsoft office


time to save up.

something i have been thinking about after reading news about singapore.

Hmm.....if someone ask me what i wish for the future of Singapore, it will be "either the complete destruction of AWARE or a complete reform of what they are doing" empowering women =/= equality. Because what they are doing is an indirect legalization to restricting male rights. The overlooking of some type of offenses because "sucks to be you, ppl will believe me as im a girl than no one will believe you as you are a guy". 

nowadays in modern day society, women are confused over where to draw the line. as technology gets more sophisticated, more influence of western cluturere resulting in more and more women are becoming independent, the lines for women rights become blurred. women are no longer the weaker sex as they claim themselves to be. they are highly calculative and manipulative because of the rights that they got and think they are entitled to that life-long warranty. 

in Singapore, from a guy POV, the cardinal law is just unfair towards males. protecting the females is fine and all. but hey, arent you protecting them too much? it has come to a point where it become a loophole for women to make use of. guys are like slave for girls now. they are pampered too much. so much so that they are arrogant, and think of boys as nthing more than some manipulative living things. SG is a heaven for girls because of AWARE and hell for guys there is no organisation to protect them. read the laws if u got the time. disagree/agree i leave it up to you. 
 

so long as they act the victim, guys will comfirm lose. i mean the first logic will be " how could you make her cry?" "what? she was against it but u did it anyway, u monster" examples could go on and on. maybe i read too much mangas and watch too much drama that show that being a man means we should never, in whatever circumstances, make a girl cry because that would be ungentlemanly and unmanly. well, as much as i love reading this type of stories. its complete bullshit to withstand the venomous words they throw at you. but sry, as much as i bottled all this up. when i snapped, dun go crying and say imma a big bully and shout at a girl. well u can go fck urself for that. 

in conclusion, singapore society is fucked up in my point of view. but i will still live in this country because, its singapore. pros and cons. but i will live with it. but if there was ever a big red button that say "push for AWARE'S DESTRUCTION" i will push it without hesitation, hell, i might even push it afew more times.