lol...after 2wks of confinement and this is...my 3rd bookout...look forward to friday everyday hahaha...and we started counting the days the moment we touch tekong haha. anyway....i will start a brief intro and jus say afew things...cos i sign a pact saying i cant say this and that...so...yea.
the 2wks confinement period.
----------------------------------
1st day of enlistment...the 1st person to address the new recruits is our coy's CSM....he totally makes sure we know we are not civilians anymore...the way he talks...intimidating....so scared and stunned that during the CO speech we still kept quiet when the CO ask us "are u ready?" until the 2nd time he ask then we realise and respond with a "YES SIR!"
then we take our bag or aka barang barang to our new home...Dragon company. then we proceed to go c0llect our field pack, duffel bag, boots, shoes, shavers....etc...etc..essentially, u dun even need to bring anything during enlistment day, cos everything have been provided for u...after all the sorting out, we made our way to the foyer which is a shelter between cougar and dragon. there, we were sorted into platoons...i was sorted to platoon 1.section 3. did i mention i met my sec sch friend,syafiq ? we met each other earlier but then i did not want to cfm if its him...in the end? he became my platoon as well as section mate. my section was...ok. bunch of jokers really. i had a good time laughing and forget the unhappiness that happened during training.
1st 2 weeks of confinement is really like introduction camp...and time past real fast in there, before u know it, its alrdy the 2nd wk's sunday and we all get ready to book out...the feeling is dam nice...booking out is like booking in, except we take boat back to mainland haha, after we reach pasir ris, i immediately take cab home =)
reason why this took so long to post is cos im too tired to write or i have no mood to continue...sry for not updating my blog haha
Friday, December 24, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
last post till maybe 2weeks later
alright...time check is 11.03pm. 57mins b4 its the day i depart for tekong island ahhaa...had fun on the last day...spent it on universal studio lol...like the rides xD one of it gt me soaked but i had fun haha!
heh heh...jo, if ur reading this, i wanna tell u that talking to u have been really enjoyable and addictive...1 day without smsing u and i feel weird le hahaha...
well then! this is a short post, and i will MIA till nxt mth. cheers to all and myself.
NS HERE I COME!
heh heh...jo, if ur reading this, i wanna tell u that talking to u have been really enjoyable and addictive...1 day without smsing u and i feel weird le hahaha...
well then! this is a short post, and i will MIA till nxt mth. cheers to all and myself.
NS HERE I COME!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
this totally deserved to be reposted XD
1. Money can’t buy happiness but
somehow, it’s more comfortable to cry in a BMW than on a bicycle…
2. Forgive your enemy, but
remember the bastard’s name.
3. Help a man when he is trouble & he will remember you
when he is in trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only because
it’s illegal to shoot them.
5. Alcohol does not solve any problem, but then,
neither does milk.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
i love no. 5 and no. 4 HAHAHAHAHA!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
ah well..its been a long time since i update...
since its been a quite a long time since i posted something...i guess i should just post abt the recent events.
-receive my ns letter stating i nd to report to BMTC school 1 at 8.45am. on 25th nov. on my brother's birthday somemore hahahaha...
-intending to chiong 2mths of work and get atleast afew spenting money for ns...which i anticipate to be in dec...oh well no choice but to quit TDS...a place thats worth mentioning abt...i shld take abit of time to review how i came to start work at tds haha...its 2 yrs worth of exp written into 1 post.
starting
---------
my friend initially was looking for a job to sustain himself...and he came across tds wif the help of his mom. so he ask me along and apply for the job. at that time, i jus finish year 1 sem1 kinda broke as well...so can say i desperately nd money. so when we reach tds which is at sunset way(last time there is only 1 shop). its a very strange atmosphere for me because i never work in the f&b sector before. my past working exp all belong to the factories. hahaha...so yea we gt seated...mel came out out and interview me and my friend. then we go home after that...afew days later, mel call me to say im chosen rather than my friend because of various reasons. i felt bad but happy oso, and so i tell mel when i can work and prepare for my 1st day.
1st wk at work
----------------
hoping to give a good impression for my colleagues and boss...i went early, but was rather stoned because i really dunno wad to do...i stand there and blur...1st thing mel taught me was how to churn ice cream...nthing else....being able to serve customers are..in her eyes,a natural talent. so when theres alot of customers coming in and the older staffs are serving i was churning ice cream because 1) i dunno how to serve(bear in mind i work in factory not service) 2) again, the only skill she taught me is how to churn ice cream. terrence the supervisor and mel finally bth and shout at me to go serve...i was like " eh? ok..but i dunno" mel was like " GO" then i "orh..." and this is how i started out serving my 1st customers...throw out of the pan and into the fire. its abit problematic for me cause with regards to the scoop size and wad ice cream is there. im still very blur. then after the wave of customers had gone then i slowly pick up on the skills. yeap...the journey is not smooth sailing at all.
6mths into the job
-------------------
met new friends and colleagues, still very blur as always. cos i dun really work alot i din have the chance to learn alot of things, rmb terrence blow up on me because i was cleaning the glass halfway...then my hands are black then terrence want me to serve customers but i nd to wash hands in order to do that...dun see why he cant serve the customers 1st...totally piss off wif him. then like mel later talk to us separately, i had cool down le so i did apologise in the end...since he is the BIG ALMIGHTY SUPERVISOR...he dun like me and i dun like him either...so its there, 1 enemy. and i purposely work on the days he gt off. cos i jus dunwan to see him, everyday see him , he will scold me one...argh.
1yr into the job
----------------
begin to realise jus how long i have manage to keep this job, cos i part time study and work. time jus pass without me knowing and in a blink of an eye, 1 yr gone le. my pay rise steadily and i know more and more flavours, how to scoop, how to churn and how to promote our products. i wont say i have much talent in this aspect but i do know how to serve all that...the ending tasks i have all done from A-D all except E. last time theres oso XYZ where staff nd to sing 'closing song' to drive customers away. oh well...the trended gt killed by me haha...i jus dunwan to do it. then later changed to F which is 'extra staff'.
1 and 1/2 yrs into the job
--------------------------
gt news that the new branch in holland v is setting up...though i feel happy for the Co. i dunwan to leave sunset way...cos its near my home and sch and not a bother to go after sch...if i gt transferred to hv, then the only bus i can take is 61 from sch...which 61 as u all know is an ass to wait for if u miss it. and my results are not as good as i wanted...so i began to work lesser...but in times to come...i realise that mel wants to post me to the new shop cos she wants afew exp ppl over there...but i felt that having 2 shops now means those pro ones will remain at sunset way. the not so good ones will be at hv. felt abit sad...but oh wells...i told mel that if any side needs ppl i can go...since im alrdy used to be a weekend warrior ahaha. she said ok...yay!
rmb the time when i go and see the new shop for the 1st time...my 1st impression is...BIG..and SPACIOUS....then comes the problem on how to convey the waffle orders to the kitchen...ah well, in the end tat was settled.(to wad it is now) new staffs were hired espacially the kitchen staff...now mel hires some ppl jus for doing D, dishwashing. and some of them cannot adapt the cold environment. by then im considered an all rounder...so i do most of the things afew here afew there...when the new shop officially opened, there was little customers...then slowly the numbers grew. so i over there sometimes undertake the role of the 'teacher' and teach those newcomers how to churn ice cream...serve waffles, scoop ice cream and bla bla bla....but i never felt good enough to teach, reason being i believe i still have much more to learn. and me teaching will end up in disaster...haha...
2yrs into the job
-----------------
gotten used to the environment in holland v, knw wad to do and all that le....even gt the guts to check waffles and make waffle mix...do waffle flour...gt sick of hv's food variety haha...met new colleagues again...very good ones that learn fast enough....began to do E after a long time...like it cos no nd to do other brainless physical labour...task E is brain work...the only task that needs to kill brain cells
last mth of working
--------------------
before i gt my ns letter i told myself that i would quit this job 1 mth early so that i can prepare. to enjoy my civilian life before going for a 2 yrs stint in ns. never though wad i said would came true so early. and during 2nd last wk of my work. 2 new girls came to work...grace and josephine. grace's teacher was crystalbel and josephine's teacher is well...me. haha. and the way she came to the shop really remind me of my 1st day at work on my 1st day at tds...stoned and follow me around for the 1st day...cos she dunno anything...and i have to teach her the basics...i was stumped...cos too many things to know so little time so...wad shall i teach her 1st? impt skill no. 1! how to scoop a ice cream. lol...show her my hand technique..dunno if she mastered it le mah...then show her how to serve a customer. then lol...like how mel and terrence teach me how to serve...i let her serve her 1st customer...of cos wif me beside her to help this time rather than wad i exp. lol. later i ask her if this is her 1st time working in an f&b job. she say yes and that this is her 2nd job...o.o! no wonder. hahaa...the world is just too small...to think i met some1 who is so similiar to me in term of work exp. in tds...knowing absolutely nothing. and to top it off, SHE LIVE NEAR ME thats like after 2 yrs of going home alone, i gt some1 to talk to on the way home...couldnt felt happier than that...but the sad thing is...i only left 2 wks until i quit. so yea...happiness is short-lived...or so i thought it is.
after quitting
-------------
finally! the ending conclusion. is my story boring? might be...haha..its a summarised ver. of it after all.
so like on the last wk jus before i quit mel sms me if i can work for 2 more days...shortage of staff...so im like " ok...when? jus cannot mon-" the msg was nver finish as she sent me the days which is tues and wed. both days which im free ahahaha...so its like can la...earn more mah...then can get pay early as well....lol...and even though i quit alrdy i still guided josephine on tds essential skills. lol...im not that good but at least she wont be as blur as me when i 1st started..very soon she wont need me anymore and she herself is capable to teaching other ppl le...though she told me that she isnt going to work long...i was like "aww..waste leh.." lol...
---------------------------------------end-------------------------------------
haha...finally end le...now im blogging and waiting for the time for reach so i can go eat xlb buffet which i organised later at nite...
-receive my ns letter stating i nd to report to BMTC school 1 at 8.45am. on 25th nov. on my brother's birthday somemore hahahaha...
-intending to chiong 2mths of work and get atleast afew spenting money for ns...which i anticipate to be in dec...oh well no choice but to quit TDS...a place thats worth mentioning abt...i shld take abit of time to review how i came to start work at tds haha...its 2 yrs worth of exp written into 1 post.
starting
---------
my friend initially was looking for a job to sustain himself...and he came across tds wif the help of his mom. so he ask me along and apply for the job. at that time, i jus finish year 1 sem1 kinda broke as well...so can say i desperately nd money. so when we reach tds which is at sunset way(last time there is only 1 shop). its a very strange atmosphere for me because i never work in the f&b sector before. my past working exp all belong to the factories. hahaha...so yea we gt seated...mel came out out and interview me and my friend. then we go home after that...afew days later, mel call me to say im chosen rather than my friend because of various reasons. i felt bad but happy oso, and so i tell mel when i can work and prepare for my 1st day.
1st wk at work
----------------
hoping to give a good impression for my colleagues and boss...i went early, but was rather stoned because i really dunno wad to do...i stand there and blur...1st thing mel taught me was how to churn ice cream...nthing else....being able to serve customers are..in her eyes,a natural talent. so when theres alot of customers coming in and the older staffs are serving i was churning ice cream because 1) i dunno how to serve(bear in mind i work in factory not service) 2) again, the only skill she taught me is how to churn ice cream. terrence the supervisor and mel finally bth and shout at me to go serve...i was like " eh? ok..but i dunno" mel was like " GO" then i "orh..." and this is how i started out serving my 1st customers...throw out of the pan and into the fire. its abit problematic for me cause with regards to the scoop size and wad ice cream is there. im still very blur. then after the wave of customers had gone then i slowly pick up on the skills. yeap...the journey is not smooth sailing at all.
6mths into the job
-------------------
met new friends and colleagues, still very blur as always. cos i dun really work alot i din have the chance to learn alot of things, rmb terrence blow up on me because i was cleaning the glass halfway...then my hands are black then terrence want me to serve customers but i nd to wash hands in order to do that...dun see why he cant serve the customers 1st...totally piss off wif him. then like mel later talk to us separately, i had cool down le so i did apologise in the end...since he is the BIG ALMIGHTY SUPERVISOR...he dun like me and i dun like him either...so its there, 1 enemy. and i purposely work on the days he gt off. cos i jus dunwan to see him, everyday see him , he will scold me one...argh.
1yr into the job
----------------
begin to realise jus how long i have manage to keep this job, cos i part time study and work. time jus pass without me knowing and in a blink of an eye, 1 yr gone le. my pay rise steadily and i know more and more flavours, how to scoop, how to churn and how to promote our products. i wont say i have much talent in this aspect but i do know how to serve all that...the ending tasks i have all done from A-D all except E. last time theres oso XYZ where staff nd to sing 'closing song' to drive customers away. oh well...the trended gt killed by me haha...i jus dunwan to do it. then later changed to F which is 'extra staff'.
1 and 1/2 yrs into the job
--------------------------
gt news that the new branch in holland v is setting up...though i feel happy for the Co. i dunwan to leave sunset way...cos its near my home and sch and not a bother to go after sch...if i gt transferred to hv, then the only bus i can take is 61 from sch...which 61 as u all know is an ass to wait for if u miss it. and my results are not as good as i wanted...so i began to work lesser...but in times to come...i realise that mel wants to post me to the new shop cos she wants afew exp ppl over there...but i felt that having 2 shops now means those pro ones will remain at sunset way. the not so good ones will be at hv. felt abit sad...but oh wells...i told mel that if any side needs ppl i can go...since im alrdy used to be a weekend warrior ahaha. she said ok...yay!
rmb the time when i go and see the new shop for the 1st time...my 1st impression is...BIG..and SPACIOUS....then comes the problem on how to convey the waffle orders to the kitchen...ah well, in the end tat was settled.(to wad it is now) new staffs were hired espacially the kitchen staff...now mel hires some ppl jus for doing D, dishwashing. and some of them cannot adapt the cold environment. by then im considered an all rounder...so i do most of the things afew here afew there...when the new shop officially opened, there was little customers...then slowly the numbers grew. so i over there sometimes undertake the role of the 'teacher' and teach those newcomers how to churn ice cream...serve waffles, scoop ice cream and bla bla bla....but i never felt good enough to teach, reason being i believe i still have much more to learn. and me teaching will end up in disaster...haha...
2yrs into the job
-----------------
gotten used to the environment in holland v, knw wad to do and all that le....even gt the guts to check waffles and make waffle mix...do waffle flour...gt sick of hv's food variety haha...met new colleagues again...very good ones that learn fast enough....began to do E after a long time...like it cos no nd to do other brainless physical labour...task E is brain work...the only task that needs to kill brain cells
last mth of working
--------------------
before i gt my ns letter i told myself that i would quit this job 1 mth early so that i can prepare. to enjoy my civilian life before going for a 2 yrs stint in ns. never though wad i said would came true so early. and during 2nd last wk of my work. 2 new girls came to work...grace and josephine. grace's teacher was crystalbel and josephine's teacher is well...me. haha. and the way she came to the shop really remind me of my 1st day at work on my 1st day at tds...stoned and follow me around for the 1st day...cos she dunno anything...and i have to teach her the basics...i was stumped...cos too many things to know so little time so...wad shall i teach her 1st? impt skill no. 1! how to scoop a ice cream. lol...show her my hand technique..dunno if she mastered it le mah...then show her how to serve a customer. then lol...like how mel and terrence teach me how to serve...i let her serve her 1st customer...of cos wif me beside her to help this time rather than wad i exp. lol. later i ask her if this is her 1st time working in an f&b job. she say yes and that this is her 2nd job...o.o! no wonder. hahaa...the world is just too small...to think i met some1 who is so similiar to me in term of work exp. in tds...knowing absolutely nothing. and to top it off, SHE LIVE NEAR ME thats like after 2 yrs of going home alone, i gt some1 to talk to on the way home...couldnt felt happier than that...but the sad thing is...i only left 2 wks until i quit. so yea...happiness is short-lived...or so i thought it is.
after quitting
-------------
finally! the ending conclusion. is my story boring? might be...haha..its a summarised ver. of it after all.
so like on the last wk jus before i quit mel sms me if i can work for 2 more days...shortage of staff...so im like " ok...when? jus cannot mon-" the msg was nver finish as she sent me the days which is tues and wed. both days which im free ahahaha...so its like can la...earn more mah...then can get pay early as well....lol...and even though i quit alrdy i still guided josephine on tds essential skills. lol...im not that good but at least she wont be as blur as me when i 1st started..very soon she wont need me anymore and she herself is capable to teaching other ppl le...though she told me that she isnt going to work long...i was like "aww..waste leh.." lol...
---------------------------------------end-------------------------------------
haha...finally end le...now im blogging and waiting for the time for reach so i can go eat xlb buffet which i organised later at nite...
Saturday, October 23, 2010
counting down the days before i enlist
see that countdown timer up there? yeap, thats the est. amt. of time left for me b4 i pack up my barang barang, ship my ass to tekong and throw my freedom away for 2 yrs to serve my nation. lol. yes...i finally receive 'the letter' (O_O!) gonna train up and prep for ns....thank god i ask ppl who went in earlier than me for advise on wad to bring...so as to btr equip myself for life in tekong haha =) cheers for the future, if u believe in 2012 u can go fck urself cos i aint planning to die yet esp when i havent serve finish my ns haha! thats like being in debt and singapore is my creditor. and i dun like debts ;)
though i dun think i will be removing the timer html until 2 wks later on sat i think...=)
though i dun think i will be removing the timer html until 2 wks later on sat i think...=)
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
whew! finally!
ok, this post might have come abit too late but still....I HAVE GRADUATED FROM NP(albeit wif sucky results)!!
*jumps around in joy*
waited 6mths for this day to come....in those 6 mths i have tried to remain as i was, happy for my friends who have graduated and gone to ns. try to stay normal and tell myself that no matter wad taunts i face i have experienced worst that its nthing to set me back...well...i roughly achieved all that. and at least a gold cca cert along wif my diploma when i graduate.
i will leave this post at this point 1st. period. nites all
*jumps around in joy*
waited 6mths for this day to come....in those 6 mths i have tried to remain as i was, happy for my friends who have graduated and gone to ns. try to stay normal and tell myself that no matter wad taunts i face i have experienced worst that its nthing to set me back...well...i roughly achieved all that. and at least a gold cca cert along wif my diploma when i graduate.
i will leave this post at this point 1st. period. nites all
Sunday, September 5, 2010
ICONT paper...and some other things..
hmm...ICONT paper...din go too bad...at least i gt confidence to pass the paper, not score...be happy if i can get a C or even D+. the paper...manage to make my writing hand ice cold and numb. i dunno even know wad happen. cos i realise i had only have 30mins to the paper and im still on the last question!(i do the back questions 1st so its 5,6,7,1,2,3,4). i was smiling to myself when i saw the 1st question though, calibration table. and its the easiest table i have done! but overall, im still scared.
so now im trying to destress myself but not to the point of stopping my brain. facebooking took some of my thoughts off my brain but still. it wasn't enough. so i thought of jubeating. and today me and daniel are suppose to go book the badminton court. but along the way go collect my pay haha...i meet him at 12.30..late as always ><" and meet him at timezone, decide to jubeat cos he decided to treat me to one game haha. i being no money at that time, consent to it =D. played a game. feels good. then go and collect my pay at sw, lol, initially wanted brownies but in the end had waffles instead xD. after which, we head back to bb bus interchange where i go straight up to buy my powercard. 20 bucks man now i can afford. ><" . then i go well not spam jus play like 2 games of jubeat b4 going to bt.gombak sports hall to book the courts but in the end it turns out that all the time slots are fully booked and so we gt no choice but to go back home lor...afterwards go back out again because i cant resist the urge to jubeat.....
when i reach westmall, i saw lots of noobs...and i try not to compare because i was once like them oso. then i wait patiently for my fav. machine, the one nearest to the DDR machine. careful of any1 that might take away my position as " the nxt one to play" i make my intentions obvious thru glares of " dun-u-hog-the-machine" and " im-next-you-wait" . then i play, i feel that when i play jubeat i tend to forget myself. its like a high i get. then it hit me, im addicted to jubeat...AGAIN! but jubeating helps me sort of destress, me being myself. i oso realise i like the attention i got from other ppl by jubeating...attention as in ppl looking at me play. not those that stand besides me and be distraction. have i become an attention seeking guy? hmm...maybe i am. but then maybe i just wanted ppl to acknowledge wad i do bah...
jubeating for me have turn out to be a form of escape...no matter how i dunwan to escape i end up doing so. because i just want to forget...all those painful memories. pretending to be happy. how long more can i maintain that facade until i can meet someone that i can fully tell everything thats buggy me? psychologist or counselor dun work, cos i dun trust them.
if i can shout i would really want to shout, i wanna cry. but i only want to do so...i dunwan any1 to see me cry yet i want some1 to comfort me when im being so. i wanted to shout it out but i dunwan to be labeled as a retard. my heart is now like a .rar file, its very compressed with all my emotions that i dun think its appropriate to let ppl know.when i feel that i shld not be using that tone, when i dun wish to make a scene just because of a very small thing. i always give in to others to the point i jus take wadeva that was given to me, till when everybody make use of me le and im like outlive my usefulness le then cast me aside.
lol...i dunno facebook can 'defriend' someone...i know can block. but dunno can dun friend someone...does wad i wrote sound nostalgic? whens the last time u heard ur friend saying "i dunwan/ dun friend u anymore hmph!" haha...anyway...just to make every1 know abt this , i am not a psychic therefore i dunno wad is ur hidden meaning! i dun get subtle msg/hint! pls just tell me directly be it good or bad. i may take it bad but i will be fine after afew mths...i swear that i would never commit suicide(except if i am captured by the enemy during war and have no choice but to do that)
i <3 jubeat! i love myself? i <3 to GET THE HELL OUT OF NP AND GO NS AND GET ON WITH LIFE OMG!
so now im trying to destress myself but not to the point of stopping my brain. facebooking took some of my thoughts off my brain but still. it wasn't enough. so i thought of jubeating. and today me and daniel are suppose to go book the badminton court. but along the way go collect my pay haha...i meet him at 12.30..late as always ><" and meet him at timezone, decide to jubeat cos he decided to treat me to one game haha. i being no money at that time, consent to it =D. played a game. feels good. then go and collect my pay at sw, lol, initially wanted brownies but in the end had waffles instead xD. after which, we head back to bb bus interchange where i go straight up to buy my powercard. 20 bucks man now i can afford. ><" . then i go well not spam jus play like 2 games of jubeat b4 going to bt.gombak sports hall to book the courts but in the end it turns out that all the time slots are fully booked and so we gt no choice but to go back home lor...afterwards go back out again because i cant resist the urge to jubeat.....
when i reach westmall, i saw lots of noobs...and i try not to compare because i was once like them oso. then i wait patiently for my fav. machine, the one nearest to the DDR machine. careful of any1 that might take away my position as " the nxt one to play" i make my intentions obvious thru glares of " dun-u-hog-the-machine" and " im-next-you-wait" . then i play, i feel that when i play jubeat i tend to forget myself. its like a high i get. then it hit me, im addicted to jubeat...AGAIN! but jubeating helps me sort of destress, me being myself. i oso realise i like the attention i got from other ppl by jubeating...attention as in ppl looking at me play. not those that stand besides me and be distraction. have i become an attention seeking guy? hmm...maybe i am. but then maybe i just wanted ppl to acknowledge wad i do bah...
jubeating for me have turn out to be a form of escape...no matter how i dunwan to escape i end up doing so. because i just want to forget...all those painful memories. pretending to be happy. how long more can i maintain that facade until i can meet someone that i can fully tell everything thats buggy me? psychologist or counselor dun work, cos i dun trust them.
if i can shout i would really want to shout, i wanna cry. but i only want to do so...i dunwan any1 to see me cry yet i want some1 to comfort me when im being so. i wanted to shout it out but i dunwan to be labeled as a retard. my heart is now like a .rar file, its very compressed with all my emotions that i dun think its appropriate to let ppl know.when i feel that i shld not be using that tone, when i dun wish to make a scene just because of a very small thing. i always give in to others to the point i jus take wadeva that was given to me, till when everybody make use of me le and im like outlive my usefulness le then cast me aside.
lol...i dunno facebook can 'defriend' someone...i know can block. but dunno can dun friend someone...does wad i wrote sound nostalgic? whens the last time u heard ur friend saying "i dunwan/ dun friend u anymore hmph!" haha...anyway...just to make every1 know abt this , i am not a psychic therefore i dunno wad is ur hidden meaning! i dun get subtle msg/hint! pls just tell me directly be it good or bad. i may take it bad but i will be fine after afew mths...i swear that i would never commit suicide(except if i am captured by the enemy during war and have no choice but to do that)
i <3 jubeat! i love myself? i <3 to GET THE HELL OUT OF NP AND GO NS AND GET ON WITH LIFE OMG!
Sunday, August 29, 2010
exams stress
ICONT paper and MMM paper coming le!!!!!! ahhhhh!!!!!!!! *runs around*
-looks at printed past yr paper-
expression-->(@___@?)
"ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....i blur!!!!!!! DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!" x___x
-looks at printed past yr paper-
expression-->(@___@?)
"ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....i blur!!!!!!! DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!" x___x
Monday, August 23, 2010
natsu matsuri 2010
natsu matsuri this year is rather special! mainly cause...i NEARLY FORGOT ABT THE EVENT!!! ><" special thanks for hwee khim for reminding me , oli oli for making that day hyper and fun espacially the bon-odori!=D and also thank you daniel and kok loon for coming along haha! i sort of drag both of them to the festival ><. im glad they enjoy themselves! haha!
was telling them(khim, daniel and kl...but mostly daniel and khim) how bad the Queue will be if they are late...how im gonna RUN to the candied apple stall and how fun the bon-odori will be.
thank hwee khim again for helping us get the advanced tickets! although ur still VERY late....-.- . saw oli, damien and jeremy at arnd 3+...its really a long time since i saw them...miss oli the hyper girl..hahaha!
bon-odori was really fun! and as quoted by some1 i cant rmb who..." this is way btr than gym man..." N I TOTALLY AGREE!
haha! i tot i might get to invite some1 to go this yr...but oh well...if she is not interested, i cant be bothered to ask her. and even if i wanted...i DID nearly forget abt the event so its like the very last min. thing. though its good to go to festivals with girls haha....oh well...wait till nxt yr bah!
let me end off with :"CHAN MALI CHAN HEY!!"(JUMPS!)
on the plus side...
jubeat knit has arrive at WEST MALL!!!! TIMEZONE UR SLOW FOR 1 WHOLE YEAR BUT ITS OK!!!! yay!! but its 3 songs for $2....like zonex and tka...currently..since they have gone into the price competition as well..i do hope that (for the sake of every jubeater in sg) they will lower the price and increase the songs! 4 songs for $1.5o is very good market if u ask me...haven't u been earning a bigger buck when u set that setting?
hate post...totally
ok...thats it..i had enough! i will officially said it that i :
*REALLY HATE agents(talkative bitches)
*hate loud brats
*hate idiotic teachers
*hate nonsensical talks and expects me to smile/nod in agreement
*hate to be left out
*hate to be suddenly pulled into an argument
and i wanna said it again! i HATE agents! so much that i actually developed a phobia from them! because they will try to corner u. and try to stop u. and once ur stopped. hoho, in their mind its like "1st stage cleared!" then will ask u some of their must-ask questions. THEN....they will tell u to go sit somewhere to talk...often, with the tempting phrases of "very quick one","abt 5mins only"...and OFTEN, those fcking talks will end up in MORE than 5mins or their promised time. and when i say talks i meant psycho-ing talks...and i hate that...IF I WANT TO BUY UR INSURANCE I WOULD HAVE GONE TO U INSTEAD RIGHT? if u wanna ask how deep i hate agents? i would if ur my friend and u happen to become an agent , i would still be ur friend...until u tried to sell me ur insurance.
reason why i hate brats is mainly cause of jubeating. brats = kids who are schooling and do not know how to play but act as if they know and shout and talk loudly as if they are pros...and try to act pro by trying to have a 'pro' stance while playing. they not only piss people off by their actions, they are very full of themselves. how to make them shut up? trash them in the things they are so proud of. done. did i mention that they have useless parents that dunno how to control their kids? parent these days really have a good way of teaching their kids huh...phailed.
Does it ever gets it to you when u are trying excellent a song? and some loud brat shout of something that distracts u(like leaning onto the machine too close), then 1 BLUE...u know how fcking SIAN u will feel?
*REALLY HATE agents(talkative bitches)
*hate loud brats
*hate idiotic teachers
*hate nonsensical talks and expects me to smile/nod in agreement
*hate to be left out
*hate to be suddenly pulled into an argument
and i wanna said it again! i HATE agents! so much that i actually developed a phobia from them! because they will try to corner u. and try to stop u. and once ur stopped. hoho, in their mind its like "1st stage cleared!" then will ask u some of their must-ask questions. THEN....they will tell u to go sit somewhere to talk...often, with the tempting phrases of "very quick one","abt 5mins only"...and OFTEN, those fcking talks will end up in MORE than 5mins or their promised time. and when i say talks i meant psycho-ing talks...and i hate that...IF I WANT TO BUY UR INSURANCE I WOULD HAVE GONE TO U INSTEAD RIGHT? if u wanna ask how deep i hate agents? i would if ur my friend and u happen to become an agent , i would still be ur friend...until u tried to sell me ur insurance.
reason why i hate brats is mainly cause of jubeating. brats = kids who are schooling and do not know how to play but act as if they know and shout and talk loudly as if they are pros...and try to act pro by trying to have a 'pro' stance while playing. they not only piss people off by their actions, they are very full of themselves. how to make them shut up? trash them in the things they are so proud of. done. did i mention that they have useless parents that dunno how to control their kids? parent these days really have a good way of teaching their kids huh...phailed.
Does it ever gets it to you when u are trying excellent a song? and some loud brat shout of something that distracts u(like leaning onto the machine too close), then 1 BLUE...u know how fcking SIAN u will feel?
Saturday, August 21, 2010
1000 words by sweetbox
this is a very OLD song(as quoted from someone), but its still nice...i have it in my playlist...yea just scroll down hahaha....heres the lyrics :
1000 words
----------------------------
I know that you're hiding things
Using gentle words to shelter me
Your words were like a dream
But dreams could never fool me
Not that easily
I acted so distant then
Didn't say goodbye before you left
But I was listening
You'll fight your battles far from me
Far too easily
"Save your tears 'cause I'll come back"
I could hear that you whispered as you walked through that door
But still I swore to hide the pain when I turn back the pages
Shouting might have been the answer
What if I'd cried my eyes out and begged you not to depart?
But now I'm not afraid to say what's in my heart
Though a thousand words
Have never been spoken
They'll fly to you
Crossing over the time and distance holding you
Suspended on silver wings
And a thousand words
One thousand confessions
Will cradle you
Making all of the pain you feel seem far away
They'll hold you forever
The dream isn't over yet
Though I often say I can forget
I still relive that day
You've been there with me all the way
I still hear you say
"Wait for me, I'll write you letters"
I could see how you stammered with your eyes to the floor
But still I swore to hide the doubt when I turn back the pages
Anger might have been the answer
What if I'd hung my head and said that I couldn't wait?
But now I'm strong enough to know it's not too late
'Cause a thousand words
Call out through the ages
They'll fly to you
Even though I can't see, I know they're reaching you
Suspended on silver wings
Oh, a thousand words
One thousand embraces
Will cradle you
Making all of your weary days seem far away
They'll hold you forever
Oh, a thousand words
Have never been spoken
They'll fly to you
They'll carry you home and back into my arms
Suspended on silver wings ohhhh
And a thousand words
Call out through the ages
They'll cradle you
Turning all of the lonely years to only days
They'll hold you forever
a thousand words.
~~~"~~~"~~~"~~~"~~~"~~~"~~~"~~~"~~~"~~~"~~~
nice song right~? but i gt another nice song coming up! its suteki da ne by rikki!
heres the lyrics to the song :
suteki da ne
----------------------
kaze ga yoseta kotoba ni oyoida kokoro
kumo ga hakobu ashita ni hazunda koe
tsuki ga yureru kagami ni furueta kokoro
hoshi ga nagare koboreta yawarakai namida
suteki da ne
futari te wo tori aruketa nara
ikitai yo
KIMI no machi ie ude no naka
sono mune
karada azuke
yoi ni magire
yumemiru
kaze wa tomari kotoba wa yasashii maboroshi
kumo wa yabure ashita wa tooku no koe
tsuki ga nijimu kagami wo nagareta kokoro
hoshi ga yurete koboreta kakusenai namida
suteki da ne
futari te wo tori aruketa nara
ikitai yo
KIMI no machi ie ude no naka
sono kao
sotto furete
asa ni tokeru
yumemiru
~~~"~~~"~~~"~~~"~~~"~~~"~~~
hahaha! as the same as the 1st song, this song can be found in my playlist as well!
if u realise it by now both are FFX song! gt afew more but i like these 2 the most! cause they really bring out the emotions in u...
1000 words
----------------------------
I know that you're hiding things
Using gentle words to shelter me
Your words were like a dream
But dreams could never fool me
Not that easily
I acted so distant then
Didn't say goodbye before you left
But I was listening
You'll fight your battles far from me
Far too easily
"Save your tears 'cause I'll come back"
I could hear that you whispered as you walked through that door
But still I swore to hide the pain when I turn back the pages
Shouting might have been the answer
What if I'd cried my eyes out and begged you not to depart?
But now I'm not afraid to say what's in my heart
Though a thousand words
Have never been spoken
They'll fly to you
Crossing over the time and distance holding you
Suspended on silver wings
And a thousand words
One thousand confessions
Will cradle you
Making all of the pain you feel seem far away
They'll hold you forever
The dream isn't over yet
Though I often say I can forget
I still relive that day
You've been there with me all the way
I still hear you say
"Wait for me, I'll write you letters"
I could see how you stammered with your eyes to the floor
But still I swore to hide the doubt when I turn back the pages
Anger might have been the answer
What if I'd hung my head and said that I couldn't wait?
But now I'm strong enough to know it's not too late
'Cause a thousand words
Call out through the ages
They'll fly to you
Even though I can't see, I know they're reaching you
Suspended on silver wings
Oh, a thousand words
One thousand embraces
Will cradle you
Making all of your weary days seem far away
They'll hold you forever
Oh, a thousand words
Have never been spoken
They'll fly to you
They'll carry you home and back into my arms
Suspended on silver wings ohhhh
And a thousand words
Call out through the ages
They'll cradle you
Turning all of the lonely years to only days
They'll hold you forever
a thousand words.
~~~"~~~"~~~"~~~"~~~"~~~"~~~"~~~"~~~"~~~"~~~
nice song right~? but i gt another nice song coming up! its suteki da ne by rikki!
heres the lyrics to the song :
suteki da ne
----------------------
kaze ga yoseta kotoba ni oyoida kokoro
kumo ga hakobu ashita ni hazunda koe
tsuki ga yureru kagami ni furueta kokoro
hoshi ga nagare koboreta yawarakai namida
suteki da ne
futari te wo tori aruketa nara
ikitai yo
KIMI no machi ie ude no naka
sono mune
karada azuke
yoi ni magire
yumemiru
kaze wa tomari kotoba wa yasashii maboroshi
kumo wa yabure ashita wa tooku no koe
tsuki ga nijimu kagami wo nagareta kokoro
hoshi ga yurete koboreta kakusenai namida
suteki da ne
futari te wo tori aruketa nara
ikitai yo
KIMI no machi ie ude no naka
sono kao
sotto furete
asa ni tokeru
yumemiru
~~~"~~~"~~~"~~~"~~~"~~~"~~~
hahaha! as the same as the 1st song, this song can be found in my playlist as well!
if u realise it by now both are FFX song! gt afew more but i like these 2 the most! cause they really bring out the emotions in u...
Saturday, July 24, 2010
fucked
yea...thats the word i can only say...for now...i dunno wad else i might say on this coming Thursday. friday, i reach sch at farking 11.30am+, its not early nor issit too late...since my FYP ends at 5pm. so i call my group leader when he is coming down to do the wiring since he knows the circuiting. and i dare not to do my own circuiting because i dunwan another short-circuit. so i call him, when he pick up the phone. he just woke up. ok...since its him, its considered his nature rather habit le...nvm. so i waited for him....till 12.30pm..go dabao lunch and eat at fyp room. then go back to room 1 to wait again....1pm+ i sms him where is he, from woodlands to school oso wont take that long right? he reply back say he 15-30mins will reach...ok. fair enough since he gt give a range.....then comes 3pm, still no signs of him. im tired, im pissed, im stressed. inside room 1, i couldnt understand his circuits, i cant do the things he wanted. even mr William oso dunno wad is he drawing. so i dulan i jus do my own wiring. then that groupmate of mine finally show his face at u all guess wad time? FARKING 4PM! jus to remind u all that my FYP ends at 5pm! then say he so late come in cos of report....i was thinking " report more impt than practicality?" to do a report u must 1st FINISH the hands-on project?...totally wtf..WTF i tell u. i alrdy sian1/2 le. then he bomb me with all the reasons why he wants it to be so...i gt so frustrated that i jus tell him " eh...dun confuse me, jus tell me wad to connect and where" cb...monday i will go fyp room at 8am to chiong my project. no more joke le....panel is nxt wk the rest of my class alrdy finish theirs le...why only us? issit because we slack too much? issit because we test too late? no matter. now is crunch time and we have less than 24hrs to fix up the wiring....if u think abt it...seriously! ><"
Thursday, July 22, 2010
jubeat knit
the new version of jubeat is coming out! this is jubeat ver. 3.0
hahaha!!! YES! its coming out on 29th july according to my sources. its been a long time since i last resurfaced from the jubeat community. get ready to feel the aura or SIANSTER once again!!!! hmm...wonder wad new ign shld i call myself now...hmm....i gt 2 cards now...my princess card is sianster while my regular card is rand0mon...well with knit, i guess i can quit calling myself as a member of the ex singapore jubeat group, the mon group.
summary of today's event.
woke up at 7.30am todae...have a gleeful tot that "yes! im finally be able to go to sch early!" then i look at my warm pillow with the sound of the morning rain as an additional background sound effect, i succumb to the temptation of slping more for afew min. then nxt thing i knew i woke up and look at the clock...8.52am..this time my mind goes "oh...FUCK! not again!?" then hastily go wash up and left home. cab to sch was....well a near disaster. because i had met the enemy of every person who is in a rush and worst, alrdy late : TRAFFIC JAM. i jitao jus sian in the cab. eyes wanna slp. brain not working. only things thats working is my senses and the brain nervous system haha...anyway...manage to get to class at a suprising 'early' time of 9.30am did i tell u wad time was my lesson? its 9am-.-. anyway, after my 30min lesson. i gt practical...turn out to be viva >_>". then after the disastrous viva. its lunch and fyp all the way...i feel that i am actually doing something today. cos time really flies when im in my fyp room. tml i will do the wiring and hopefully they dun short circuit again or else my project will really burn.
hmm....these wk i realise im beginning to eat at home more...perhaps its cause i dun have anything to do at sch so i might as well go home...and also i now have my guitar(^_^) can practice at home.
*i shld not get lazy with practicing guitar
although i did say that but then i gt more impt things to worry abt than guitar practicing le...after all these ends bah...i wanna pass my exams and graduate from np. and try to slp early too ><
hmm....these wk i realise im beginning to eat at home more...perhaps its cause i dun have anything to do at sch so i might as well go home...and also i now have my guitar(^_^) can practice at home.
*i shld not get lazy with practicing guitar
although i did say that but then i gt more impt things to worry abt than guitar practicing le...after all these ends bah...i wanna pass my exams and graduate from np. and try to slp early too ><
time
in a blink of an eye. this wk is ending yet again....coming to terms with that, this wk is also the last wk of my fyp. i really wish that me and my partner will be able to complete the whole thing. make it up and running....something which is suppose to be done last last week but then a rather unfortunate incident happened. our control box short-circuited and nearly caught fire. i burnt 2 of my fingers in the process....reason being i panic and try to pull the melting wires off the battery. oh well...good that i din die. but in any case our control box is screwed. but a good thing is that not everything is totally destroyed. at least our charge controller still works. if we are gonna make this project work...it gotta be this wk. i admit that in this fyp im not doing most of the brainstorming. but i feel like being the hands of my group leader. because i wanna do the practicals. anyways. this is a rushing yet relieving week for me...i dunno why.
guitar practicing is going well...im practicing almost daily(stopped yst and todae) at nite...learnt that wad im practicing is the D family not G family....haha...thanks edmond of the link u gave me todae. its very useful. and if all goes well...i may well be able to play my 1st song on guitar!! yay!!! its call stand by me by Ben E king. i like the song and i wanna play it...beside the song...i oso gt afew other songs that i wanna play but then i nd to master the basics 1st...
been pondering alot...whether shld i restart my driving lesson. i really shld. but then thinking of the cost jus scares me. if i were to go for TP again...it will be $160(TP)+ $220(practical lessons)+ $25(PDL extension)+ possible FTT retest = $500+...that is actually a scary amount for me now.
i shld be in control over my jubeating habit now....but then 9+6 = $15 on jubeating jus 2 days alone....need to stop le haha...at least till knit comes to sg.
wish me luck...lots of luck haha nites world
guitar practicing is going well...im practicing almost daily(stopped yst and todae) at nite...learnt that wad im practicing is the D family not G family....haha...thanks edmond of the link u gave me todae. its very useful. and if all goes well...i may well be able to play my 1st song on guitar!! yay!!! its call stand by me by Ben E king. i like the song and i wanna play it...beside the song...i oso gt afew other songs that i wanna play but then i nd to master the basics 1st...
been pondering alot...whether shld i restart my driving lesson. i really shld. but then thinking of the cost jus scares me. if i were to go for TP again...it will be $160(TP)+ $220(practical lessons)+ $25(PDL extension)+ possible FTT retest = $500+...that is actually a scary amount for me now.
i shld be in control over my jubeating habit now....but then 9+6 = $15 on jubeating jus 2 days alone....need to stop le haha...at least till knit comes to sg.
wish me luck...lots of luck haha nites world
Saturday, July 3, 2010
it was never ur fault
dun think too much my dear, its not ur fault. everything now lies with me....i am now a person wif crushed Morales and tend to think too much and way ahead of myself....dun think that everything is cause of you. you may hurt me in some ways yes. but what u have brought me is worth more than anything else....i know wad im going to say isn't gonna help much and its not gonna work since we are miles apart. but im still gonna say it " if ur hurt, tell me about it. if u need a shoulder to cry for, i will lend u mine." for i cant stand having a girl like u crying or sad. i may not be the strong and brave guy that will help u whack ppl. but i will be there with u when u needed someone. after all, wad are friends for? its not that im asking u to do alot for me....all i ask is for 1 thing in return...dun leave me.
haha...and besides, im used to emo-ing alone and picking myself up. so even if u are not there for me. it doesnt really affect me........somewhat.you are...after all, my lovely sunshine. always being bright and chase my gloomy clouds away. so dun blame urself for my undoings. i may not know why u are hurt, i may never know. but i do know that once u cry finish, emo finish. its time to move on and one of the ppl that will be taking u by the hand and telling u to move on will be me. =) so cheer up. u still gt a week left. go for it!
haha...and besides, im used to emo-ing alone and picking myself up. so even if u are not there for me. it doesnt really affect me........somewhat.you are...after all, my lovely sunshine. always being bright and chase my gloomy clouds away. so dun blame urself for my undoings. i may not know why u are hurt, i may never know. but i do know that once u cry finish, emo finish. its time to move on and one of the ppl that will be taking u by the hand and telling u to move on will be me. =) so cheer up. u still gt a week left. go for it!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
in my mind....going thru so many things....just so many...
how to say....how to start...im flustered, im stressed out, im sick(yea i am) , im disoriented....why?why?why? perhaps i can shortlist them into afew things bah,
1)money
2)time
3)sch
4)ppl
money is never enough for me, no matter how much i try to save. there will be some stuff that i need to buy, some stuff i need for that month and strangely enough, all those stuffs are EXPENSIVE. yes i admit i spent alot on food. but hey, ppl need to eat. hope nxt mth(coming in 3 days time) will be enough for me.
nowadays i find that 24hrs is not enough for me. really too many things to do and too little time, everywhere is fill with restrictions. theres time limit for everything. i want more than 24hrs and that include the 8hrs of uninterrupted sleep. that will make 32 hours...doesnt sound that bad huh. if only thats true...well...human lifespan will shorten very quickly hahahaha....ha...ha.
school huh....how do i start...i can start with them sending me another warning letter. scare me thought i gonna get debarred again like applied mech. now that i think abt it...its always mechanics that got me into trouble...haiz...but in any case. yea timetable shld not be that jia lat...but i dunno why i cant get up in time...todae for example, i woke up late. but then i gt a bad cough and explain to tcher...heng. haiz..we got back our ct paper, i gt 48/100 how nice is that....and just as i tot icont is a gone case...i realise i pass it...64/100. not a good score but beats getting a 55. shld pay more attention to the tcher this term...ending liao...need to pass both modules oh yea...not forgetting project management. that makes 3. then get my cert. AND PROVE MY PARENTS WRONG.
did i let my parents down when im in poly? i suppose i did...repeating 1 sem is nver a good thing to say out. but hey how different issit for me to say out oso? i may look as if i couldnt be bothered by it. but actually i am. i dun cry out doesnt mean i dun care, i dun chiong doesnt mean i din learn my lesson. but i alrdy repeated 1 sem le...wad to do? life HAS to go on....u think i dunwan to go for my graduation WHICH IS SUPPOSE TO BE THIS YEAR LAST MTH!? of cos, my friends graduated i feel happy for them. why i dun feel sad? cos i know i will be graduating nxt year. im using all my Morales i can find to chiong finish my remaining modules...then the letter came...haha, turns out that my parents, like my lecturers are looking at me as a repeat student. how great is that? wonderful. last time if i hear those coming from my parents i will cry myself to slp...now? i really couldnt be bothered liao...they speak in dialect hoping im aslp and cant hear. never thought it will turn out to be this way...i WILL pass this freaking course and get my freaking diploma...
feeling really lonely now. i dunno how to explain this kind of feeling. its like someone in my life left me, just like how my grandfather did when he pass away. reading her blog has become like a routine habit for me...jus a click on her link and see if she is ok....her recent post jus hint me strongly that i have alrdy lost. haha....i shldnt be feeling this way towards her...i make sure i killed this feeling of mine alrdy. i know the outcome le...but......somehow or another, it always got revived. i dunwan to care anymore. leave jiu leave bah...after all, old friends go and new friends takeover. but memories will never go away, only...to change from sweet......sour.......salty and bitter in the end.Hmm...yea.as for me? well, i have no reason to feel lonely on the outside, after all, what are friends for ;) but for the heart? then yes,im lonely.
too many things to say too little time too little privacy...is there nobody i can trust? nthing in this world is safe for secrets.
L.O.V.E = Lack Of Volatile Empathy
i dunno wad that means but im writing it anyways...now that nearly everyone is looking down on me, i can safely say that im nearly on the verge of breaking down. thanks for crushing my morales and wadeva support i have. thanks....i repeat i WILL PASS MY COURSE AND GET MY CERT. THEN I GO NS AND THATS HOW IM GOING IN. LIVE OR DIE I DUN CARE LE...i have gone pass the limit where i wanna plead innocence...i gave up on that liao..no point....just......no point
1)money
2)time
3)sch
4)ppl
money is never enough for me, no matter how much i try to save. there will be some stuff that i need to buy, some stuff i need for that month and strangely enough, all those stuffs are EXPENSIVE. yes i admit i spent alot on food. but hey, ppl need to eat. hope nxt mth(coming in 3 days time) will be enough for me.
nowadays i find that 24hrs is not enough for me. really too many things to do and too little time, everywhere is fill with restrictions. theres time limit for everything. i want more than 24hrs and that include the 8hrs of uninterrupted sleep. that will make 32 hours...doesnt sound that bad huh. if only thats true...well...human lifespan will shorten very quickly hahahaha....ha...ha.
school huh....how do i start...i can start with them sending me another warning letter. scare me thought i gonna get debarred again like applied mech. now that i think abt it...its always mechanics that got me into trouble...haiz...but in any case. yea timetable shld not be that jia lat...but i dunno why i cant get up in time...todae for example, i woke up late. but then i gt a bad cough and explain to tcher...heng. haiz..we got back our ct paper, i gt 48/100 how nice is that....and just as i tot icont is a gone case...i realise i pass it...64/100. not a good score but beats getting a 55. shld pay more attention to the tcher this term...ending liao...need to pass both modules oh yea...not forgetting project management. that makes 3. then get my cert. AND PROVE MY PARENTS WRONG.
did i let my parents down when im in poly? i suppose i did...repeating 1 sem is nver a good thing to say out. but hey how different issit for me to say out oso? i may look as if i couldnt be bothered by it. but actually i am. i dun cry out doesnt mean i dun care, i dun chiong doesnt mean i din learn my lesson. but i alrdy repeated 1 sem le...wad to do? life HAS to go on....u think i dunwan to go for my graduation WHICH IS SUPPOSE TO BE THIS YEAR LAST MTH!? of cos, my friends graduated i feel happy for them. why i dun feel sad? cos i know i will be graduating nxt year. im using all my Morales i can find to chiong finish my remaining modules...then the letter came...haha, turns out that my parents, like my lecturers are looking at me as a repeat student. how great is that? wonderful. last time if i hear those coming from my parents i will cry myself to slp...now? i really couldnt be bothered liao...they speak in dialect hoping im aslp and cant hear. never thought it will turn out to be this way...i WILL pass this freaking course and get my freaking diploma...
feeling really lonely now. i dunno how to explain this kind of feeling. its like someone in my life left me, just like how my grandfather did when he pass away. reading her blog has become like a routine habit for me...jus a click on her link and see if she is ok....her recent post jus hint me strongly that i have alrdy lost. haha....i shldnt be feeling this way towards her...i make sure i killed this feeling of mine alrdy. i know the outcome le...but......somehow or another, it always got revived. i dunwan to care anymore. leave jiu leave bah...after all, old friends go and new friends takeover. but memories will never go away, only...to change from sweet......sour.......salty and bitter in the end.Hmm...yea.as for me? well, i have no reason to feel lonely on the outside, after all, what are friends for ;) but for the heart? then yes,im lonely.
too many things to say too little time too little privacy...is there nobody i can trust? nthing in this world is safe for secrets.
L.O.V.E = Lack Of Volatile Empathy
i dunno wad that means but im writing it anyways...now that nearly everyone is looking down on me, i can safely say that im nearly on the verge of breaking down. thanks for crushing my morales and wadeva support i have. thanks....i repeat i WILL PASS MY COURSE AND GET MY CERT. THEN I GO NS AND THATS HOW IM GOING IN. LIVE OR DIE I DUN CARE LE...i have gone pass the limit where i wanna plead innocence...i gave up on that liao..no point....just......no point
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
yikes!
i see my irevo, i really chua sai....last time i rmb, im ranked 5K+ now im nearly 10K mark wtf?! benami bastard, dunwan sell append to other countries...zzzzzzz
Monday, June 7, 2010
unfinished post
i have infact, lots of post i shld have post it up...but its always unfinished....when will i have the time to actually post everything up? *sigh*
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
oh well...
monday was suppose to be my day. haha...guess it wasnt huh. oh well...can only blame myself for repeating a semester. =(.
for this wk. up until todae. i have been smiling for the camera for 3 days straight. haha. monday is kl's graduation ceremony, tuesday is morgan and daniel's graduation ceremony. and the whole week is jus meant for me to say grats to my friends who manage to complete their dip in 6 sems...will be my turn nxt yr =D jia you!
for this wk. up until todae. i have been smiling for the camera for 3 days straight. haha. monday is kl's graduation ceremony, tuesday is morgan and daniel's graduation ceremony. and the whole week is jus meant for me to say grats to my friends who manage to complete their dip in 6 sems...will be my turn nxt yr =D jia you!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
i survived monday lol
yst my fyp project de most important product arrived. the fountain. wif it 30%-40%of the work is done le. then is the indemity form hand up....after that meet up for dinner. discuss abt camp. discuss until very tired. my eyes feels strained, abit of an headache. in short, im tired. XD
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todae is free day for me...yea well...gt things to do, later meeting daniel and kl to go depot rd check out the dry ice. then after that.....see how lor
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todae is free day for me...yea well...gt things to do, later meeting daniel and kl to go depot rd check out the dry ice. then after that.....see how lor
Monday, May 3, 2010
bz ar~
1st wk of may = preparations for camp + panel presentation
2nd wk of may = final preparation of camp + make cake + deliver+ celebrate+ actual camp
2nd wk of may = final preparation of camp + make cake + deliver+ celebrate+ actual camp
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nuff' said abt my may's schedule at the moment.(mind u my 1st 2 wks are alrdy packed)
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Wednesday, April 21, 2010
1st day of school....for the 7th time ><"
ysterday my sem officially start again. why officially? cause i am suppose to go for fyp(that in the end din really go) and therefore doesnt really count as my vacation. but then again, because of so many things that happens during my vacation, i find that my vacation last sem was especially short and fast.
after my exams. started to work, go for camp meetings, play, slack. and in a blink of an eye, my 'vacation' over liao...and a new sem begins once again. my 1st lesson on monday start at 12pm. and my lecturer told us in a smiling way " in the whole of ME, there are only 2 killer modules. they are triple M and ICONT(smile)" fck...and i am doing them this sem....thanks for the tip -.-"...afterwards i went to cca fiesta is find my cca booth and stone there...then i go buy soup from subway(gt sudden craving). buy le going back that time i lose my balance and my left ankle bend 90 degrees, yea fcking hurts la. then i limp back to booth. i tot i sprained my ankle...cos i heard i a loud "crack!" but in the end i realise is i twist my ankle instead...not that serious..hahaha...so much for 1 day of school huh...
day 2 was quite uneventful, woke up in the morning prep to go out. met marcus to get his notes for triple M and ICONT. and met daniel on the way so we go have breakfast together and head to school to cca fiesta. then we stone at the stage behind our booth until 4.30pm when i head off for work. met reylyn along the way hahaha...gt new staffs at work...and i kena E again..lol..dunno shld be sad or happy liao. anyway...my impression of the 2 new ppl is good and bad. 1 guy and 1 girl. the guy rather enthu abt his new found job. lol..everything also wanna know..impression...not that bad...the girl? haiz...i dunno wad to say her...i mean...she is older than us. talk to us (or rather...to me) have the i-alrdy-know-and-im-older-than-u-so-know-ur-place tone...which jus make me buay song la...but i kept quiet...cos i wanna know if my thoughts are correct. so i wait it out and see.....and im still waiting to see.
after my exams. started to work, go for camp meetings, play, slack. and in a blink of an eye, my 'vacation' over liao...and a new sem begins once again. my 1st lesson on monday start at 12pm. and my lecturer told us in a smiling way " in the whole of ME, there are only 2 killer modules. they are triple M and ICONT(smile)" fck...and i am doing them this sem....thanks for the tip -.-"...afterwards i went to cca fiesta is find my cca booth and stone there...then i go buy soup from subway(gt sudden craving). buy le going back that time i lose my balance and my left ankle bend 90 degrees, yea fcking hurts la. then i limp back to booth. i tot i sprained my ankle...cos i heard i a loud "crack!" but in the end i realise is i twist my ankle instead...not that serious..hahaha...so much for 1 day of school huh...
day 2 was quite uneventful, woke up in the morning prep to go out. met marcus to get his notes for triple M and ICONT. and met daniel on the way so we go have breakfast together and head to school to cca fiesta. then we stone at the stage behind our booth until 4.30pm when i head off for work. met reylyn along the way hahaha...gt new staffs at work...and i kena E again..lol..dunno shld be sad or happy liao. anyway...my impression of the 2 new ppl is good and bad. 1 guy and 1 girl. the guy rather enthu abt his new found job. lol..everything also wanna know..impression...not that bad...the girl? haiz...i dunno wad to say her...i mean...she is older than us. talk to us (or rather...to me) have the i-alrdy-know-and-im-older-than-u-so-know-ur-place tone...which jus make me buay song la...but i kept quiet...cos i wanna know if my thoughts are correct. so i wait it out and see.....and im still waiting to see.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
a long updated post
it has been quite a long time since i post something...to those that wanted to hear my 'emo problems' wif 'much enthusiasm'...i apologise for the disappearance act. cos these few days or weeks have been very busy for me....let me recount as much as i can yea? haha....
i dunno whens the last time i feel like posting le....i now like machiam quit playing jubeat le...konami is still a bastard. but anyway...i oso no time to play jubeat. let me recall abit more. ah yes..my cca chalet. i go for the chalet and find it fun n had a wonderful experience. i wanted to let them watch batsu game hospital edition and or version but forgt to bring my charger set. best -.-" . kl brought the drinks that me, kl, daniel and morgan kup to buy. we bought absolute vodka and baileys original. 1st nite daniel intro me anchor beer. taste...soso nia...until the 2nd day. so anyway...1st nite gt bbq and i ate practically nthing for the entire bbq, but i was too engross wif playing mahjong wif my friends. ppl always say that "when one plays mahjong, one will show his inner self whether he wants it or not." i find this sentence very true cos i observe one guy while he is playing wif us...he's luqman, beside the fact that he is not very good at playing. he curse and swears whenever some1 pong his tile or something and always say " fck la...lost alrdy" or " cannot win alrdy" adding to the fact that its depressing, its also fcking irritating to me...can see his face turn black lor....can sense other players arnd him oso diam diam...haiz...but then after that estella came wif her family, her brother was so cute when he play mahjong wif us. XD. cant use words to describe! he's jus cute!. yea...then after bbq and mahjong and everything, its time to open up the alcohol , again, luqman wanted to join in cos apparently, he, nver drank b4 becos of his religion. we ask him if its alright and he said its ok....so yea we shrugged and let him in our drinking group. we all pour mixes as beginning while talking and playing card games. arnd the tables are me, morgan, daniel, estella, luqman.(cheryl join us later) and we all finish our mixes without any difficulty. then luqman start to stand up and said he felt good. and goes arnd us talking and saying he is not drunk and such....(he is..if not he's high) and he is somehow oblivious to the fact that we ALL are silent and playing our card or watching him walking arnd. then he went back to slp. i think it was at that time my impression of him started to crumble. then later at nite cheryl join our drinking session and i act drunk by asking if she wanted to drink kneat =D...so i pour her a shot of vodka and said " eh...wait..i give u rock!" and so i took a clean cup and scooped a chunk of ice and then proceed to wobble towards her seat. haha...i still rmb wad i said
" hey...gib me ur rock"
-cheryl hands over her cup of vodka-
"hmm? thats liquid...where my rock?"
-look at my hand -
"ahh!! theres my rock!"
then i pour the ice into her cup and she asked " hey...u ok mah?" i replied :" im fine" then suddenly i walk back straight and sat down as if nthing happens haha xD tht was then daniel said " dun worry, he can drink...he acting drunk onli "
dammit, expose me...><"
after some chit chats we all went to slp and estella complains her heartbeat very fast haha...maybe cos she slping wif eric, too excited liao =P. but then slping on the hard bed is hard...i manage to get some slp after 5am cos johan wake up and go home le...then morning comes and cheryl choose to slp on my bed...i woke up and jus stone infront of her...then she wakes up and when i saw she open her eyes, i said " good morning cher-" the sentence was nver completed cos she attempted to spearkick me when she 'stretch' her legs...she became my most effective alarmclock sia...im wide awake le...then we go wild wild wet...play until evening. along the way we keep telling him that he gt drunk and spout nonsense the day b4 and he jus.dun.admit zzzz...anywaygo eat dinner, go back chalet rest. and along the way, luqman, still say he is good at drinking(bullshit much?) and as statedby my friends, he said he can drink wadeva i drink and drink btr than me" its when i snapped and jus tell him " since u say u can drink, later i give u 2 shots"and later when we are back to drinking session wif the grp. i pour him 2 shots worth and tell him " drink up! i dun care how u drink it i want the cup to be emptied!" he give the wah-lao-liddat-lah look and tbh, i dun give a fuck. and he said " fine i drink" and drank everything down and said " see? im not drunk! ha!" well...its vodka...side effects can onli be seen later...wad an asshole...in the end daniel ask him to go back to the chalet and slp. and he agreed to it and was knock out soon after...it was then i jus explode....knnccb...wanna challenge wif me drinking issit. i may not drink well. but i know fucking well ur not a fcking drinker and if u cant drink dun challenge someone who drinks more than u do. i had a plan in mind to get him to drink wif me until one of us gt knock out. which im pretty sure its him. not me. hell...my impression of him was alrdy down the drain.
day 3, its time for us to check out of chalet and we go home...but b4 we do that, daniel suggested going out again later during the day. and so we did. 5pm at bukit timah plaza, kl and daniel and estella were waiting for me at kfc...im late as usual ><" i was still in a groggy state and wad goes out of my mouth din register wif my brain so i reach kfc le i tell the person " change my marshmallow to coleslaw. they give me a "huh?" face and tell me " sry we dun have marshmallows....we onli have mash potatoes" OMG....DAM MALU LA....>///////<" . told them wad happen and they went rofl...literally ><". then we proceed to go mambo to play pool but it was packed wif JC ppl and so we went back to kfc to kill time. daniel actually brought chinese chess, and i actually rmb how to play it haha! manage to win estella after she think for a LONG time...then yea the person at mambo call up and tell us theres a table rdy. and we quickly ran up to play...turns out that estella dunno how to play and its the 1st time she is playing pool....1st step in learning is always slow...that i can understand...but to play a 30min match wif kl...its torturous...not for her..but for us xD. then after the pool session we went back home . realise we gt our new clique in npsc...xD
i dunno whens the last time i feel like posting le....i now like machiam quit playing jubeat le...konami is still a bastard. but anyway...i oso no time to play jubeat. let me recall abit more. ah yes..my cca chalet. i go for the chalet and find it fun n had a wonderful experience. i wanted to let them watch batsu game hospital edition and or version but forgt to bring my charger set. best -.-" . kl brought the drinks that me, kl, daniel and morgan kup to buy. we bought absolute vodka and baileys original. 1st nite daniel intro me anchor beer. taste...soso nia...until the 2nd day. so anyway...1st nite gt bbq and i ate practically nthing for the entire bbq, but i was too engross wif playing mahjong wif my friends. ppl always say that "when one plays mahjong, one will show his inner self whether he wants it or not." i find this sentence very true cos i observe one guy while he is playing wif us...he's luqman, beside the fact that he is not very good at playing. he curse and swears whenever some1 pong his tile or something and always say " fck la...lost alrdy" or " cannot win alrdy" adding to the fact that its depressing, its also fcking irritating to me...can see his face turn black lor....can sense other players arnd him oso diam diam...haiz...but then after that estella came wif her family, her brother was so cute when he play mahjong wif us. XD. cant use words to describe! he's jus cute!. yea...then after bbq and mahjong and everything, its time to open up the alcohol , again, luqman wanted to join in cos apparently, he, nver drank b4 becos of his religion. we ask him if its alright and he said its ok....so yea we shrugged and let him in our drinking group. we all pour mixes as beginning while talking and playing card games. arnd the tables are me, morgan, daniel, estella, luqman.(cheryl join us later) and we all finish our mixes without any difficulty. then luqman start to stand up and said he felt good. and goes arnd us talking and saying he is not drunk and such....(he is..if not he's high) and he is somehow oblivious to the fact that we ALL are silent and playing our card or watching him walking arnd. then he went back to slp. i think it was at that time my impression of him started to crumble. then later at nite cheryl join our drinking session and i act drunk by asking if she wanted to drink kneat =D...so i pour her a shot of vodka and said " eh...wait..i give u rock!" and so i took a clean cup and scooped a chunk of ice and then proceed to wobble towards her seat. haha...i still rmb wad i said
" hey...gib me ur rock"
-cheryl hands over her cup of vodka-
"hmm? thats liquid...where my rock?"
-look at my hand -
"ahh!! theres my rock!"
then i pour the ice into her cup and she asked " hey...u ok mah?" i replied :" im fine" then suddenly i walk back straight and sat down as if nthing happens haha xD tht was then daniel said " dun worry, he can drink...he acting drunk onli "
dammit, expose me...><"
after some chit chats we all went to slp and estella complains her heartbeat very fast haha...maybe cos she slping wif eric, too excited liao =P. but then slping on the hard bed is hard...i manage to get some slp after 5am cos johan wake up and go home le...then morning comes and cheryl choose to slp on my bed...i woke up and jus stone infront of her...then she wakes up and when i saw she open her eyes, i said " good morning cher-" the sentence was nver completed cos she attempted to spearkick me when she 'stretch' her legs...she became my most effective alarmclock sia...im wide awake le...then we go wild wild wet...play until evening. along the way we keep telling him that he gt drunk and spout nonsense the day b4 and he jus.dun.admit zzzz...anywaygo eat dinner, go back chalet rest. and along the way, luqman, still say he is good at drinking(bullshit much?) and as statedby my friends, he said he can drink wadeva i drink and drink btr than me" its when i snapped and jus tell him " since u say u can drink, later i give u 2 shots"and later when we are back to drinking session wif the grp. i pour him 2 shots worth and tell him " drink up! i dun care how u drink it i want the cup to be emptied!" he give the wah-lao-liddat-lah look and tbh, i dun give a fuck. and he said " fine i drink" and drank everything down and said " see? im not drunk! ha!" well...its vodka...side effects can onli be seen later...wad an asshole...in the end daniel ask him to go back to the chalet and slp. and he agreed to it and was knock out soon after...it was then i jus explode....knnccb...wanna challenge wif me drinking issit. i may not drink well. but i know fucking well ur not a fcking drinker and if u cant drink dun challenge someone who drinks more than u do. i had a plan in mind to get him to drink wif me until one of us gt knock out. which im pretty sure its him. not me. hell...my impression of him was alrdy down the drain.
day 3, its time for us to check out of chalet and we go home...but b4 we do that, daniel suggested going out again later during the day. and so we did. 5pm at bukit timah plaza, kl and daniel and estella were waiting for me at kfc...im late as usual ><" i was still in a groggy state and wad goes out of my mouth din register wif my brain so i reach kfc le i tell the person " change my marshmallow to coleslaw. they give me a "huh?" face and tell me " sry we dun have marshmallows....we onli have mash potatoes" OMG....DAM MALU LA....>///////<" . told them wad happen and they went rofl...literally ><". then we proceed to go mambo to play pool but it was packed wif JC ppl and so we went back to kfc to kill time. daniel actually brought chinese chess, and i actually rmb how to play it haha! manage to win estella after she think for a LONG time...then yea the person at mambo call up and tell us theres a table rdy. and we quickly ran up to play...turns out that estella dunno how to play and its the 1st time she is playing pool....1st step in learning is always slow...that i can understand...but to play a 30min match wif kl...its torturous...not for her..but for us xD. then after the pool session we went back home . realise we gt our new clique in npsc...xD
Sunday, March 21, 2010
a bond thats so easy to make, but seems so diffcult to break
mon-team has officially disbanded. though its onli been a short while i alrdy miss the bondings that we had...as i recall, those bonds are so easily made u know, jus a short chat and intro is enuf to start chatting as if we are friends for 5 yrs when we met like wad? 5mins? .
during the time of the mons, we pratically meet up everyday. have dinner and talk crap after our game sessions. recently, we can still have dinner, but conversations topic seems to have run out. im thinking of semi retiring from jubeat le....until newer versions are out...
anyway...dam dam tired...later still nd to go mediacorp x.x....nites all
during the time of the mons, we pratically meet up everyday. have dinner and talk crap after our game sessions. recently, we can still have dinner, but conversations topic seems to have run out. im thinking of semi retiring from jubeat le....until newer versions are out...
anyway...dam dam tired...later still nd to go mediacorp x.x....nites all
Saturday, March 20, 2010
haiz...this feeling again..
i havent been blogging alot i know, i havent post abt my 21st birthday, i havent post abt all the events up until now...well...now that i have the time and energy to blog it out. my birthday celebration with my friends can be summarised in jus 1 word : simple.
theres not big bang, me and my friends going wild while celebrating our birthdays. its jus a day we gather to relax and have fun. during my actual 21st birthday. my parents bought for me a set of things : wallet, perfume and key holders. an expensive set i would say. i really thank them. thank you daddy and mommy for my presents! =D dad bought a regular cake and we did the usual birthday rituals again. as u can see, my birthday is not spent wif all the big party ,catering, friends and family come together...im jus me and my family together and then resume our everyday lives. certainly im happy for other ppl's 21st birthday. i mean its the very age where u can pratically do anything that was previously age restricted. shld be a fun age. but then i dun feel the vibe...i jus dun feel it. 21st birthday certainly marks a new life for me. a life of adults, im now worried abt bank a/c, school, expenses...and if i can add, girlfriends...
anyway...my friends book a chalet at sentosa and we tot its luxurious but then up its like a couple room. theres nthing to do, nthing to eat, nthing to play. ok maybe running and swimming is on the few activities we had in the morning. dinner and lunch were eaten at vivocity. and i break my own record for having taken the most taxi trip in 1 day.
on the final nite me and yk drank gin till we high but not drunk...did some real stupid things which is still considered fun to me. anyway...slpt like a log and wake up the nxt morning wif heavy hangover....omg the headaches ar~!!
and then i cab home....put my things and slp. thats how i conclude my 21st birthday celebration. ohoh...did i mention my friend gt really drunk that we had to carry him onto the bed and he slide off the bed again -.-".
theres not big bang, me and my friends going wild while celebrating our birthdays. its jus a day we gather to relax and have fun. during my actual 21st birthday. my parents bought for me a set of things : wallet, perfume and key holders. an expensive set i would say. i really thank them. thank you daddy and mommy for my presents! =D dad bought a regular cake and we did the usual birthday rituals again. as u can see, my birthday is not spent wif all the big party ,catering, friends and family come together...im jus me and my family together and then resume our everyday lives. certainly im happy for other ppl's 21st birthday. i mean its the very age where u can pratically do anything that was previously age restricted. shld be a fun age. but then i dun feel the vibe...i jus dun feel it. 21st birthday certainly marks a new life for me. a life of adults, im now worried abt bank a/c, school, expenses...and if i can add, girlfriends...
anyway...my friends book a chalet at sentosa and we tot its luxurious but then up its like a couple room. theres nthing to do, nthing to eat, nthing to play. ok maybe running and swimming is on the few activities we had in the morning. dinner and lunch were eaten at vivocity. and i break my own record for having taken the most taxi trip in 1 day.
on the final nite me and yk drank gin till we high but not drunk...did some real stupid things which is still considered fun to me. anyway...slpt like a log and wake up the nxt morning wif heavy hangover....omg the headaches ar~!!
and then i cab home....put my things and slp. thats how i conclude my 21st birthday celebration. ohoh...did i mention my friend gt really drunk that we had to carry him onto the bed and he slide off the bed again -.-".
Friday, March 5, 2010
wonder why im so pissed
amazing how this how fiasco started out as a comment made to me to take care of my friend btr...then it comes down to the jubeat team. can tell that friend of mine have alrdy misinterpret wad i said. fine.for some1 who is not playing jubeat. u dunno the politics and hows we do things, kick him out of the group? how can u kick one of the main founder of the group? *total shake head*
indirectly say im being inhumane sia....am i? yea i suppose i am. so say wad u want. i no longer want to retort. instead i will jus agree wif everything u said. cause less trouble for me and u.
wad i wanted to say have alrdy been summed up by wad i wrote in msn. up to u to read it and roughly understand, or dun give a shit
indirectly say im being inhumane sia....am i? yea i suppose i am. so say wad u want. i no longer want to retort. instead i will jus agree wif everything u said. cause less trouble for me and u.
wad i wanted to say have alrdy been summed up by wad i wrote in msn. up to u to read it and roughly understand, or dun give a shit
Saturday, February 13, 2010
cny! a time to forgt and move on...
with an good look at the time, its 55mins away from cny!!! YAHOO!!! haha...but i do not feel happy about it, nor do i really look forward to it anymore...it has become a routine for me...this is a bad sign...but thats wad i feel. maybe its cos the day of my one and only exam is coming and i havent finish my revision yet!!! omg!! panic really sets in.
for cny is like my annual gathering of cousins. cause, normally, we go our separate ways and nver get in touch...unless we go grandmother's house. its a time for me to talk with my cousins. after all, they are with me annually for the past 18-21 yrs of my life.
the word forget. is a very funny word. cause it can make a person angry, sad, happy when used on different occasion. well....the situation now is that i said i wanna forgt. but actually, i cant. so wad do i do? i will try to break all connections. and then try to move on...the moving on part actually took less than a day. but the forgetting part is the hardest to get by.
friends i know for 5 yrs can actually show me attitude. just because i repeat a sem. A supposedly close friend of mine actually make me feel so belittled that i felt my pride have been pierced. truly, when i said i dun have true friends...this is my evidence for it.
aren't friends suppose to be there to console u when u are down?
aren't friends (especially close ones) know wad u hate the most and avoid it?
true friends are those stay when the world walks out...that is so true i believe in it 100%.
i said i dun trust ppl, thats a lie, i trust ppl too easily. so easy that i can get hurt.
casting aside snide remarks, insults shot towards me does not really harm me cos i dun really care. i will just smile and walk away. but taking in mind wad u said.
somebody once told me that in work u are being access all the time. and i fully agree cause i access my friends everyday. spotting his/her attitude, habits. i dun really take habit into heart cos, no one is perfect, i have my bad habits too. and believe me, if i list out the bad habits i have, its enuf to write a book. but i look at attitude alot. in fact, its one of the things i judge my friends everyday when i go out.
if u realise, i still say i gt friends. cos i gt alot of friends. true friends?hmm....after much reviewing. nah...im striking out a couple out of the list le.
anyway, i cant defer anymore. napha is coming, still have 6 fcking mths to go b4 i end my poly life and move on wif NS life. woot!! i alrdy know no one will come and send me off when i go tekong and honestly i dun anticipate any1 to come unless u count my family. 20th i hope i can be moved to tears...i really hope so.
and i really dun wanna care anymore. berate me and i will just say "so be it"
i know i said something horrible to her just now, but i dun wanna care le...if u wanna see attitude, im giving u one right now.
oh wow.....look at it! its now 13mins to cny!!!! haha!!
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!
情人节快乐 !!
for cny is like my annual gathering of cousins. cause, normally, we go our separate ways and nver get in touch...unless we go grandmother's house. its a time for me to talk with my cousins. after all, they are with me annually for the past 18-21 yrs of my life.
the word forget. is a very funny word. cause it can make a person angry, sad, happy when used on different occasion. well....the situation now is that i said i wanna forgt. but actually, i cant. so wad do i do? i will try to break all connections. and then try to move on...the moving on part actually took less than a day. but the forgetting part is the hardest to get by.
friends i know for 5 yrs can actually show me attitude. just because i repeat a sem. A supposedly close friend of mine actually make me feel so belittled that i felt my pride have been pierced. truly, when i said i dun have true friends...this is my evidence for it.
aren't friends suppose to be there to console u when u are down?
aren't friends (especially close ones) know wad u hate the most and avoid it?
true friends are those stay when the world walks out...that is so true i believe in it 100%.
i said i dun trust ppl, thats a lie, i trust ppl too easily. so easy that i can get hurt.
casting aside snide remarks, insults shot towards me does not really harm me cos i dun really care. i will just smile and walk away. but taking in mind wad u said.
somebody once told me that in work u are being access all the time. and i fully agree cause i access my friends everyday. spotting his/her attitude, habits. i dun really take habit into heart cos, no one is perfect, i have my bad habits too. and believe me, if i list out the bad habits i have, its enuf to write a book. but i look at attitude alot. in fact, its one of the things i judge my friends everyday when i go out.
if u realise, i still say i gt friends. cos i gt alot of friends. true friends?hmm....after much reviewing. nah...im striking out a couple out of the list le.
anyway, i cant defer anymore. napha is coming, still have 6 fcking mths to go b4 i end my poly life and move on wif NS life. woot!! i alrdy know no one will come and send me off when i go tekong and honestly i dun anticipate any1 to come unless u count my family. 20th i hope i can be moved to tears...i really hope so.
and i really dun wanna care anymore. berate me and i will just say "so be it"
i know i said something horrible to her just now, but i dun wanna care le...if u wanna see attitude, im giving u one right now.
oh wow.....look at it! its now 13mins to cny!!!! haha!!
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!
恭喜发财，万事如意，主里蒙恩！
and情人节快乐 !!
Friday, February 5, 2010
how come the situation is reversed?
oh well...gotta face reality...sg girls ARE like that...their standards are THAT high....did i mention that they also lack the sense of reality?.
wad is clubbing? its define as a term for wasting money on pointless drinking and dancing....socialising is jus an excuse.
wad are expectations? it is define as a form of pressure form by one's self in the hope of not disappointing other ppl.
wad are flashbacks? it is define as a form of thought of the past that flashes thru ur eyes at a random particular moment
wad are flash forwards? it is define as an ability to know the consequences of one's actions. *
* it is an ability almost that of an prediction. not much ppl have this sort of ability.
--------------------------------------
in the end, she nver did reply my qn....
wad is clubbing? its define as a term for wasting money on pointless drinking and dancing....socialising is jus an excuse.
wad are expectations? it is define as a form of pressure form by one's self in the hope of not disappointing other ppl.
wad are flashbacks? it is define as a form of thought of the past that flashes thru ur eyes at a random particular moment
wad are flash forwards? it is define as an ability to know the consequences of one's actions. *
* it is an ability almost that of an prediction. not much ppl have this sort of ability.
--------------------------------------
in the end, she nver did reply my qn....
Thursday, February 4, 2010
riight....
today had panel presentation. nver go well...gt fucked by the panel again....this time onli i kena. yst i notice i gt a block nose and dry throat...din thought much about since its been a common illness. so i pass it off....but it got worst at nite...and by todae when i wake up, i felt a sharp pain from my head...since i just wake up, again, i pass it off as some morning sickness. as the day goes on. i got more and more feverish, but i tot its the lack of slp and more ever, i still can tahan. so b4 the presentation, me and my fyp group chiong the ppt. im doing the calculations and was rather proud to say that i have done a good job for it....but then things din turn out this way....when i went into the panel room, i was alrdy feeling quite feverish le....manage to remain standing thruout the whole presentation and shooting from the panel....b4 i go in, msg X abt my sickness and the panel, haha she reply wif a jiayou...haha..yea i needed the support...then i tot of something mischievous, something...i know she will not say and wont say though i hope that she still reply. lol...there was no reply in the end. somehow im not surprised. its just that i feel that an additional boost would do me good in terms of morale...not that im disappointed and all...as the days go by...i felt weaker by the hour....its such a miracle i can muster the strength to walk to the bus stop and catch my bus. totally tired, headache, block nose and dry throat. go back home found out that i cant log in msn....feeling sucks......then i go slp le...hoping to regain my str again....but no...my temp rose from 37.1 to 37.7 and to 38.1 deg...nice. but im still not giddy. but with a splitting headache and a test tml...i would probably faint. lol...heng its not to be...my mom dabao fried rice and some noodles for the family...call me crazy but i ate the hong hong noodles and fried rice...and so tot i will def. be in coma the nxt day for high fever...lol...instead, the fever disappear and i slowly regain strength...lol! fighting poison wif poison siol lol...anyway...she did not reply my msges and tell me to stop sending those 'weird' msg....lol...my fault. u are right...ur not my gf...i shld stop sending daily msges. i realise, that i am but an irritant. from the way i see ur social network, ur in safe hands wif ur other friends.
LOL..
searching for the chc of 5 years ago
taken from a national day song :
(who are u my country~)
where are u...my chc~
===========================
bck to the days when all i had to worry is the damned exams and homeworks
bck to the days when i can laugh it all
bck to the days when i onli have 1 commitment :sch
bck to the days when i will slack wif my friends everyday after sch
bck to the days when i have no interest for anything except for planes
but those days will never come bck again
============================
will do some soul searching and will try to prevent myself from overdoing things.
LOL..
searching for the chc of 5 years ago
taken from a national day song :
(who are u my country~)
where are u...my chc~
===========================
bck to the days when all i had to worry is the damned exams and homeworks
bck to the days when i can laugh it all
bck to the days when i onli have 1 commitment :sch
bck to the days when i will slack wif my friends everyday after sch
bck to the days when i have no interest for anything except for planes
but those days will never come bck again
============================
will do some soul searching and will try to prevent myself from overdoing things.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
in my thinking box rewinding the today's moment
hmm....to put it simply, nthing happen todae haha...
and im an idiot...for i think i had indirectly caused someone to be sad because of my actions. im sry...its was never ur fault...its me.
and im an idiot...for i think i had indirectly caused someone to be sad because of my actions. im sry...its was never ur fault...its me.
Monday, February 1, 2010
some1 kill my feelings please...
jus got to know that a friend of mine got dismissed from school for a module he is repeating...sadly for the 2nd time....but its not because he fail, its cos he gt debarred. and he told me his lecturer call his mom to tell her that he(my friend) has been dismissed(expelled) from sch. well...i dunno wad to say but to say i dunno hw to help u...im sry.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
im sad, but i cant cry my hearts out.
i felt numbed.
as i feel the shattered pieces around me...i realise...god...are u here to make my life like shit?
for me, liking some1 is nver easy
loving some1 is harder
however...having a heart that's dead and revived just to die again....thats too much for me to take...i need a rest....a long one...the jubeat community is my hideaway now....for diff ppl and few ppl know me....i can smile on the surface....
the heaviness in my chest remains....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
im sad, but i cant cry my hearts out.
i felt numbed.
as i feel the shattered pieces around me...i realise...god...are u here to make my life like shit?
for me, liking some1 is nver easy
loving some1 is harder
however...having a heart that's dead and revived just to die again....thats too much for me to take...i need a rest....a long one...the jubeat community is my hideaway now....for diff ppl and few ppl know me....i can smile on the surface....
the heaviness in my chest remains....
a twist of fate which i hate
i hate flash forwards.
i hate flashbacks
i hate visualising something good...
i am not ok...
worst off than death.
im alive yet im dead
i wanna kill yet i dunwan to lose...
i hate myself.
nuff said
i hate flashbacks
i hate visualising something good...
i am not ok...
worst off than death.
im alive yet im dead
i wanna kill yet i dunwan to lose...
i hate myself.
nuff said
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
update?
my bag has gotten more and more heavier le.dunno wad i chuck in oso...maybe becos of todae's lesson bah...
basically i will sum up todae's event : morning lesson, lunch, slack, eat, home. thats about all.
today's weather is great. nice sun, nice wind. rather cloudy oso.
nthing great happen when im having lesson until i proceed for dinner.
as i walk out of ourspace, my cold body is welcomed by the sudden warmness of the outside environment.and there too, have a light breeze that gently caressed my face as i walk towards makan place
dinner had nthing much to talk abt except that i order my kaki fuyong set that i havent touched for abt 2wks.
as i walk out....i found out that the wind has gotten stronger and as i let the wind blow against as i walk towards the side gate, i look up at the sky, smiled and close my eyes....im enjoying the wind.
slp on the bus. dream of her yet again.
getting more tired easily...i wonder y.
basically i will sum up todae's event : morning lesson, lunch, slack, eat, home. thats about all.
today's weather is great. nice sun, nice wind. rather cloudy oso.
nthing great happen when im having lesson until i proceed for dinner.
as i walk out of ourspace, my cold body is welcomed by the sudden warmness of the outside environment.and there too, have a light breeze that gently caressed my face as i walk towards makan place
dinner had nthing much to talk abt except that i order my kaki fuyong set that i havent touched for abt 2wks.
as i walk out....i found out that the wind has gotten stronger and as i let the wind blow against as i walk towards the side gate, i look up at the sky, smiled and close my eyes....im enjoying the wind.
slp on the bus. dream of her yet again.
getting more tired easily...i wonder y.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
the one love drama i watch and really liked...till now
u guess it...those who have seen my msn nick starting todae and for afew days will know wad im talking about =) the drama is call: winter sonata or 冬季戀歌 in chinese. korean name will be 겨울연가. hahaha...this is one of the most touching love K drama i watch and till todae remains the best drama in my list =D and the OSTs are very touching...nearly all the songs...touching and at the same time relaxing...love it.
did i ever mention that i love the wind? or shld i say i love the movement of air haha...cos i love the silent breeze as well. it feels great, the silent breeze brushing gently pass ur face as u walk. the strong wind that make ur hair all messed up. the wind has sometimes help me to blow away my saddness, my emoness, my troubles...wif the wind i can rewind and think back....flashbacks of my past.reliving them once again in my brain....cause they are sweet memories that i cant bring myself to forget. thats y...if any1 find me missing....dun worry im not suicidal, just look for a place where theres wind...i will most probably be there.
reading manga and watching anime has become ineffective in distracting me from u, i cant help but think of you,remember i said about being addicted to you? its true. each day without you talking to me has been torturous>< in order to try to forget this hardening feeling, i realise that i slp more often...but to no avail. cos when i slp, i dream of u again. but i know, that u r not interested in me and wad i do has been fruitless...i know! but...i cant control it, i just miss ur voice, ur attitude, ur everything. haha...i always scared that i might fall in love wif u and in order to avoid that i try to heck care everything and let the event unfold by itself. but its too late. haha.
i rmb u told me that if u dunwan others to read then dun blog. for that my dear, is not i dunwan others to read. it cos i dunwan u to read le then avoid me. cos thats the last thing i wan. i ponder long about whether to post this...u said if dunwan see can save as draft but then again i dun feel complete. >< im fickle minded. enjoy
did i ever mention that i love the wind? or shld i say i love the movement of air haha...cos i love the silent breeze as well. it feels great, the silent breeze brushing gently pass ur face as u walk. the strong wind that make ur hair all messed up. the wind has sometimes help me to blow away my saddness, my emoness, my troubles...wif the wind i can rewind and think back....flashbacks of my past.reliving them once again in my brain....cause they are sweet memories that i cant bring myself to forget. thats y...if any1 find me missing....dun worry im not suicidal, just look for a place where theres wind...i will most probably be there.
reading manga and watching anime has become ineffective in distracting me from u, i cant help but think of you,remember i said about being addicted to you? its true. each day without you talking to me has been torturous>< in order to try to forget this hardening feeling, i realise that i slp more often...but to no avail. cos when i slp, i dream of u again. but i know, that u r not interested in me and wad i do has been fruitless...i know! but...i cant control it, i just miss ur voice, ur attitude, ur everything. haha...i always scared that i might fall in love wif u and in order to avoid that i try to heck care everything and let the event unfold by itself. but its too late. haha.
i rmb u told me that if u dunwan others to read then dun blog. for that my dear, is not i dunwan others to read. it cos i dunwan u to read le then avoid me. cos thats the last thing i wan. i ponder long about whether to post this...u said if dunwan see can save as draft but then again i dun feel complete. >< im fickle minded. enjoy
Monday, January 18, 2010
______(fill in the blanks)
never say i love you
if u really dun care
never talk about feelings
if they aren't really there
never hold my hand
if you are going to break my heart
never say you are going to
if u dun plan to start
never look into my eyes
if all u do is lie
never say hello
if u really mean good bye
if u really mean forever
then say u will try
never say forever
cause forever makes me cry
[taken from my hp wallpaper]
funny how this is suppose to wad a girl is suppose to say to a guy...but yea....im writing this to tell a girl, especially those 1st few lines. yst has been great. its too good to be real...almost a dream, yes it must have been a dream. and i wanna praise myself for having asked the most impt question to her....or else....i might still be dreaming...for me,dreams exists to be crushed. i wanna congratulate her oso...for she is the 2nd girl i know to be this close to me besides xm. i can tell for myself that i really like her. lol...last time im scared that she know...but now, theres no more hiding le...last time when we 1st met i know i like her le...jus wondering will happen and all...yea...end up i dun even nd to confess lor....my hints are too obvious lol....then after...its like mths after i meet up wif her again =) i had tot my feelings died down le....but no...in fact, it somehow gt revived...cos i jus got the tendency to "jus be wif her" and i think she knows it! yst has been too enjoyable for me that i can forget that i should keep my distance...i confess i wanted to be close to her thats y i dun mind. the fact that she hold my hand jus means so much to me....though still thank god i ask her the y/n question and though she beat around the bush...i manage to get the meaning...hmm....i dun really feel sad....but im not happy....dun feel like crying....until now. slpt at 3am yst...dream of her and the events that happen yst....its jus too good for me to wake up...too good. too nice. too surreal.
thanks again....though ysterday's talk abt going to other places....i dun think it will happen again =) its been enjoyable.
theres 3 words i wanna say to u b4 u go home but i never manage to say it out until now.
i love you :') <3
if u really dun care
never talk about feelings
if they aren't really there
never hold my hand
if you are going to break my heart
never say you are going to
if u dun plan to start
never look into my eyes
if all u do is lie
never say hello
if u really mean good bye
if u really mean forever
then say u will try
never say forever
cause forever makes me cry
[taken from my hp wallpaper]
funny how this is suppose to wad a girl is suppose to say to a guy...but yea....im writing this to tell a girl, especially those 1st few lines. yst has been great. its too good to be real...almost a dream, yes it must have been a dream. and i wanna praise myself for having asked the most impt question to her....or else....i might still be dreaming...for me,dreams exists to be crushed. i wanna congratulate her oso...for she is the 2nd girl i know to be this close to me besides xm. i can tell for myself that i really like her. lol...last time im scared that she know...but now, theres no more hiding le...last time when we 1st met i know i like her le...jus wondering will happen and all...yea...end up i dun even nd to confess lor....my hints are too obvious lol....then after...its like mths after i meet up wif her again =) i had tot my feelings died down le....but no...in fact, it somehow gt revived...cos i jus got the tendency to "jus be wif her" and i think she knows it! yst has been too enjoyable for me that i can forget that i should keep my distance...i confess i wanted to be close to her thats y i dun mind. the fact that she hold my hand jus means so much to me....though still thank god i ask her the y/n question and though she beat around the bush...i manage to get the meaning...hmm....i dun really feel sad....but im not happy....dun feel like crying....until now. slpt at 3am yst...dream of her and the events that happen yst....its jus too good for me to wake up...too good. too nice. too surreal.
thanks again....though ysterday's talk abt going to other places....i dun think it will happen again =) its been enjoyable.
theres 3 words i wanna say to u b4 u go home but i never manage to say it out until now.
i love you :') <3
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
________feelings revived___________________(feel in the blanks)
lol...dun really like to put titles cos i dunno wads my topic will be...i mean...this is a blog not an essay >.>"
this few weeks has been rather (short pause) interesting haha...1stly, i since sch start...i dun think i jubeat as much as i did during the holidays. lol, manage to survive 2 presentations. haha...1st time for me lol...*lvl up!* haha...last wk i go crash angie's friend's birthday lol...gt tricked by her to go lor...say wad " give flower nia" in the end like 11+ then leave...>.>" during the time she is...hmm....socialising...i go out and explore(since i dunno EVERYONE there) the condo. haha...took some photos of scenary and some things i find nice and photogenic. i feel really left out lor...(im not the really social-able kind) i jus more and more sian...cos after sch i feel tired le...then go jubeat while waiting for angie. my eyes and concentration lvl gt more strained. when she arrive, i sort of brighten up....did i mention she look cute that day? i gt the feeling that i wanna be wif her. cant described the actual feelings i felt. jus that crashing that party is a good thing and bad thing...good things are : i get to see angie again, indescribable feelings are found in me.bad thing : crash the party, did not socialise....leave her alone to chat wif her friends and go explore the area. note to self: do not abandon my partner lol...the rest of the story will remain in my memory =) i will end this post wif the following sentence.
and the very night...i dreamt of her.
[ps] k...i add in my title le...
this few weeks has been rather (short pause) interesting haha...1stly, i since sch start...i dun think i jubeat as much as i did during the holidays. lol, manage to survive 2 presentations. haha...1st time for me lol...*lvl up!* haha...last wk i go crash angie's friend's birthday lol...gt tricked by her to go lor...say wad " give flower nia" in the end like 11+ then leave...>.>" during the time she is...hmm....socialising...i go out and explore(since i dunno EVERYONE there) the condo. haha...took some photos of scenary and some things i find nice and photogenic. i feel really left out lor...(im not the really social-able kind) i jus more and more sian...cos after sch i feel tired le...then go jubeat while waiting for angie. my eyes and concentration lvl gt more strained. when she arrive, i sort of brighten up....did i mention she look cute that day? i gt the feeling that i wanna be wif her. cant described the actual feelings i felt. jus that crashing that party is a good thing and bad thing...good things are : i get to see angie again, indescribable feelings are found in me.bad thing : crash the party, did not socialise....leave her alone to chat wif her friends and go explore the area. note to self: do not abandon my partner lol...the rest of the story will remain in my memory =) i will end this post wif the following sentence.
and the very night...i dreamt of her.
[ps] k...i add in my title le...
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