cny! a time to forgt and move on...

with an good look at the time, its 55mins away from cny!!! YAHOO!!! haha...but i do not feel happy about it, nor do i really look forward to it anymore...it has become a routine for me...this is a bad sign...but thats wad i feel. maybe its cos the day of my one and only exam is coming and i havent finish my revision yet!!! omg!! panic really sets in.

for cny is like my annual gathering of cousins. cause, normally, we go our separate ways and nver get in touch...unless we go grandmother's house. its a time for me to talk with my cousins. after all, they are with me annually for the past 18-21 yrs of my life.

the word forget. is a very funny word. cause it can make a person angry, sad, happy when used on different occasion. well....the situation now is that i said i wanna forgt. but actually, i cant. so wad do i do? i will try to break all connections. and then try to move on...the moving on part actually took less than a day. but the forgetting part is the hardest to get by.

friends i know for 5 yrs can actually show me attitude. just because i repeat a sem. A supposedly close friend of mine actually make me feel so belittled that i felt my pride have been pierced. truly, when i said i dun have true friends...this is my evidence for it.

aren't friends suppose to be there to console u when u are down?
aren't friends (especially close ones) know wad u hate the most and avoid it?
true friends are those stay when the world walks out...that is so true i believe in it 100%.
i said i dun trust ppl, thats a lie, i trust ppl too easily. so easy that i can get hurt.
casting aside snide remarks, insults shot towards me does not really harm me cos i dun really care. i will just smile and walk away. but taking in mind wad u said.

somebody once told me that in work u are being access all the time. and i fully agree cause i access my friends everyday. spotting his/her attitude, habits. i dun really take habit into heart cos, no one is perfect, i have my bad habits too. and believe me, if i list out the bad habits i have, its enuf to write a book. but i look at attitude alot. in fact, its one of the things i judge my friends everyday when i go out.

if u realise, i still say i gt friends. cos i gt alot of friends. true friends?hmm....after much reviewing. nah...im striking out a couple out of the list le.

anyway, i cant defer anymore. napha is coming, still have 6 fcking mths to go b4 i end my poly life and move on wif NS life. woot!! i alrdy know no one will come and send me off when i go tekong and honestly i dun anticipate any1 to come unless u count my family. 20th i hope i can be moved to tears...i really hope so.

and i really dun wanna care anymore. berate me and i will just say "so be it"

i know i said something horrible to her just now, but i dun wanna care le...if u wanna see attitude, im giving u one right now.

oh wow.....look at it! its now 13mins to cny!!!! haha!!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!

恭喜发财，万事如意，主里蒙恩！

and

情人节快乐 !!