did i do the right thing?

hmm...this...happened 2 days ago....i dunno if im doing the right thing or not....but i feel like blogging it out...

i went out to buy food and along the way...i encounter an elderly man....thats blind..yes he have a white walking stick...and he is in the middle of the road....nobody....not even 1....came to help him...and theres a group of boys jus standing there watching 'show'...idiots...REAL IDIOTS...gt me so fed up...i auto go help the old man cos,
1st) he is blind
2nd)he is in the middle of the road
3rd) he looks pathetic

so i go help...the 1st thing to do is to get him off the road...whichever direction oso can...then try to settle his problem...so i ask him wad issit...he said he wans some1 to help him buy chicken rice...2 packets...i said ok...wait for me here(at the place where i escort him to) then i go buy...the 2 packets cost 6 bucks but then when he ask like "do i nd to return u money?" i get the feeling " no la its ok la....u so pathetic le...nvm la...6 bucks...take it as a good deed lor" so i said " errrr.....no nd la...becareful on ur way home hor bye bye" ...the buy my things...go home...lol...but i kept thinking if i shld have ask him for the 6 bucks....shld i or shld i not have treat that blind man 2 chicken rice.....? hmm....

dam...im laughing at this.....

some1 recently jus told me:
if u tink no one understands u, then no one will ever understand u

haha....i intepreted this meaning as : i understand you, but u think no1 understands you....if thats the case the no 1 will ever understand u...right.

if wad u say is right....and my interpretation is correct, did you...in fact any of you ask urself y would i even feel this way? reason is simple, i dun feel it...U think u understand me....then tell me wad u know abt me...

of cos...that applies to me too!...but so far...i dun tink i understand any of you.. no...in this life i will NEVER say i fully understands this/that person...

_______________________________________________________
treating u as a friend means no more mr nice guy....distance will widen and we WILL eventually lose contact...i cant chat like always le...i take into consideration over wad u type....and this will be a good news to you...i will be straight forward in wad i said...i MIGHT try to lessen to dmg by using not alot of hostile words...therefore if i said im pissed...im really pissed...

slowly turning the feelings back to nthingness....u did a great job in stopping me in my track b4 i completely fallen for you...u have my thanks.

think abt wad i said.....think abt it.......do U (points at you) think u understands me?

before u read...read the rules

rules:
before reading, pls keep in mind that this is a personal view from wad i tot
therefore i am not bothered by wad u thought
do not comment if u feel upset
alt+f4 if u are offended...

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i feel think that women are crafty and in some cases vile creatures...now why do i say that?
cos they will make use of u...drain wad u have...then when u outlived ur usefulness , they will dump u aside and find excuses to throw u away...often using feeble attempts to make u feel btr by saying nice words to you...i often feel that im always been make used of, do this for u...do that for u...i feel that i gain nothing when im doing something for ppl...i often ask myself why im so stupid to accept and trouble myself...but its cos im stupid that i dunno hw to refuse ppl, cos i always feel that i dunwan to be useless...nw i feel that im being taken for granted...used and dump the kind...

if u disagree with wad i said...prove to me that im wrong...let me feel that im not being used for nthing...not getting used and dumped when i have outlived my usefulness.

time to move on

haha...im a fool...to harbour thought that i can be with you...just a fool...haha!!
dam...its over faster than i thought it would be xD
now i know.......

































































































if u think that i have written it using white colour again...pls wipe that tot off ur mind =)

moving on...did i felt free? or did i feel upset? alittle of both? im alrdy abit numbed le...best not to think abt it haha...
im laughing again! issit sadness? no....im laughing at myself xD omg its sooo laughable! hahahahaha! im not planning to go back....i will jus go iluma bah...play game, drink until drunk...oh wait....I CANT! cos i gt sch the nxt day and work! haha! work! talking abt that...im beginning to feel piss off with the way jeanne and teresa do things...right now...im ok to bear it...i nd the income....but once i find a btr job...im off. haha....there is no nd to face ur fcking faces once i quit...u work long hrs can do E can step on me alot le right? jus cos i forgt hw to make and u knw u can scold me? sure...do wad u wan...im beginning to phase out of irritation to frustration le...fck up bitch...





































hahahahahahaha!!! im laughing...at myself, at the world, at work.....im crazy and i like it...wads so bad abt laughing? but pls bear that in mind...laughing does not mean happiness

my cbox is left untouched...haha...realise jus hw much i meant to others...nthing...if lets say u read this post and felt im pitiful then i dun nd ur sympathy....im alone...always is...change me only if u really care...if u dun have the ability to do that...dun waste ur energy...pulling me out only to drop me deeper in the abyss isnt wad a 'good' friend would do...those of my 'friends', if u read this....search ur hearts...and tell me...where are all of you when i really need u? if u think u cared sry i dun sense it...cos im currently very lonely......

tml...

mondae...technically todae and still is tml for me haha...when i go slp and wake from my slp...a new sem will start again and i will be busy again...this time i want to study more, go out more and work less :P....nxt sem...i will

-try not to be late as usual
-try to be more optimistic
-go out more often
-learn new things
-regain my poly life again....
-die from poly life haha

i realise i laugh alot...often my "haha" mean alot of things...can be cos its funny, sometimes im being sarcastic , being cold, sometimes i jus said haha just to make noise...no 1 understands my laughter...i laugh when im sad, i laugh when im happy, i laugh when im pissed off at my life, i laugh...at anything and everything....cos laughter is wad exchanges my true feelings and emotion...everytime i have an overwhelming feeling of hugging...not jus any1...jus a specific girl that i like for a long time...she dunno that i like her...thats the saddest part...cos...i dunno...i jus wanna be close wif her...i know im being selfish.but i wanted to held her close to me and nver let go...thats the emotion and feeling i get when i reflecting...i truly have a laughing face...i can smile at anything...even when i know ur scolding me...i will take it directly and yet smile...cos once u manage to wipe my smile off my face, rage will set in haha...nobody really understood my laughter de....and my smile...truly, they are my shield, my cover,my facade. cos i dunwan ppl to know my true emotions...haha...does that mean im deceiving every1 all this time? not really, sometimes i will sometimes i dun...the only person that can manage to break my facade will be the person that really care for me...and for this i will allow her to see my pitiful side...

issit ok for me to like her?

thats the question i ask myself even now...issit ok for me to like some1...do i even gt the potential...i know im boring...i cant help it...i even started to feel bad texting "hi, how are u?" or "hey...hows ur day todae?" to her liao...cos. i have no creativity to make it more interesting...i have always been like that ahaha....there are moments where i will stop to think "shld i text her this msg again" and i always will think " i dunwan her to hate me...see my sms nia will say"haiz..him again...hen fan leh" BUT in the end i still sms her...i find tht during work i cant conc. well cos my mind is thinking abt other things...worried abt her...i dunno la...jus not myself anymore lor..then when she talk to me i will like recharged one...there will come a day when its too late for me...or it has alrdy been too late...i dunno....im scared...but i dunno....

tml sch start le...nd to slp...nites=) tml mayb i will start to blog abt todae's work bah...

working@holland branch

todae or shld i say yst...was my 1st day working at the holland branch shop....and all i did that day was to churn the ice cream cos kim i think cannot cope wif the huge amount of ice cream she have to make...well, the shop onli have 1 machine...wad to do? lol...mel brought in pizza but nobody really had the appetite to eat...i jus wanna churn my ice cream...no rest no nthing...i manage to do nthing but churn the whole day...and i seldom go outside to help...and i abit not used to the new surrounding...where i have to make my own float, milkshake, lemon tea...and wad not...done a VERY embarrassing thing when i shouted to the kitchen that i wan mocha float(thats the system in sunset way) when im suppose to be doing it outside omg...so pai seh la...the surrounding is serene yes...but it really gt alot of solo work...and i meant alot!i onli have 1 body, 1 pair of arms and a head...i cant be churning and tubbing at the same time...haha...oso we have a new machine call the blast freezer...this machine could blast freeze it so that it is available for sale in a very short time...so the system goes like this: make ice cream>put in tray until full>put tray into blaze freezer>wait for 20mins>take out and seal the tray>put into freezer. looks complicated..but its a somewhat simultaneous process...u just know haha...and i gotta admit...i was so dazed that when i churn...im thinking of sms-ing angie and chat wif her...y cant i talk to my other colleagues? 1) not really close 2) dun like some of their attitude 3) i like to mind my own business...haha. in the end we could not finish the all ice cream in time when we are closed....but as my last bus is gonna leave...kim give me permission to go back(wad a relieve). tml sunday i heard jeanne saying its 1.30pm~11pm...shiok...mondae i die liao....tml i am so gonna go cold storage and buy myself a nice chicken thigh for myself and eat it as my lunch...><

im not gonna try and hide it any longer...though its jus afew days since we last met...i have began to miss ur presence le...i look forward to the day you are free again so that i can take u out for a date =)

society these days

rules of this post:
this is my point of view of todae's society, i believe freedom of speech is allowed in the net.
u can choose to continue to read or u can just press alt+F4
whether u agree or not is not my problem
if u agree and feel like commenting, u can drop a comment
if u disagree then pls keep the comment to urself


*********************************************


recently, i read a newspaper report abt a father scalding his 9 year daughter for stealing and caning her....her counselor found out abt the injuries and report the matter to the police, the dad nw face jail term a fine and possible caning sentence. after reading this...i thought to myself...wad has the singapore society becoming to? put aside the fact that the father IS violent....lets take a look at another POV.

i personally feel that the government or shld i say , the society of today is trying to control wad parents are suppose to do. in the beginning, its hit less talk more....the idea is that children shld have good childhood memories...without any memories of his/her dad/mom hitting him/her....thats a nice ideal isn't it...and they prove it by giving evidence that a child that has a rough past tends to be more violent...etc...etc...blah blah blah....all this...is society's pov! in an actual situation, sometimes u CANNOT DUN whack ur child...cos when a child is growing up, he/she need to understand discipline. every1 including animals sometimes need to learn it the hard way...if u dun...u dun learn from ur mistakes...thats wad its about. take a look at western countries...they talk all abt freedom and wad not....parents shld not hit their child....any children that gt hit can call help from children aid(an organisation)...then end up the child giving total disrespect to their parents...often screaming vulgarities and hitting them cos the children has a sense of security that nthing really bad would happen to them if they do it...the most is gt grounded and such....if they were in asia...they would not live to see tml's daylight...such disrespect! lets not jus compare the general asia and western community, lets zoom in further. to singapore perhaps.

as singapore is a multi-racial country, we are more or less being influence by western AND Asian cultures....and the difference is that western culture introduce freedom while asian cultures demand discipline. the difference in which how a parent teach their kids is oso very different. dun believe me? u can ask ur parents or even ur grandparents if they were ever caned, smacked and sometimes thrown out of the house...they will tell u " i have lose count on the numbers...but it sure bring back memories..good and bad" and it did them good you know. im not saying that hitting ur children is the best way to discipline them. but at least they can know wad is right wad is wrong, sometimes words from mouth cant be learned until u experience it urself....humans like everything else, sometimes need to learn things the hard way. in order to fear the consequences, in order to know its wrong. last time parents have full rein of their authority. now? parents are being chained down and are 'asked' not to hit their child often(i gt the impression that its figures is not more than the fingers i have in my hands). i always feel like asking the society, "who are you to tell wad the parent are doing?" u might say " wad they are doing is not right...wad they are doing does not solve anything...blah blah blah" ok...u may be right in saying it does not solve things....but u have no right to say wad they are doing is not right...YOU are just an outsider, and outsider shld not be overly concern of wad happen!

lets go back to the case....yes, i agree to some extent that the father using hot water to scald his daughter is abit overboard. but hey..i dun see hw caning her is...stealing is a bad habit that will ruin her future, he is jus infuriated that it is not the 1st time she does that le...and in such a young age somemore...if he dun put a stop to that now when she is older, she is goin to jail rather than home. and because of that he is gtting a jail, fine and possible caning sentence...1st 2 i might agree but FUCK the caning...this isn't right...this is telling parents " if u do this to ur kids we will do the same to you..espacially the fathers...u jolly well be dam clear abt this"

children these days are too soft, scared of hard work and dependent on others....always gt maid to help them carry stuff, gt parent's car to go around....kids these days...are nthing compare to my childhood days...sure they arent as good as the kids nowadays but nonetheless i have a good time...haiz...if u go to china and help out and u see the kids there....they can put singapore children to shame at any 1 time...so buck up la...haiz

haha...sry i wrote an argumentative essay out instead -.- but thats my POV u can choose to agree and disagree.

i jus wanna hold u close...

to console u, to let u feel better...i will hold u close to me...
be there when ur sad
talk to u when ur troubled...
try to cheer u up
jus wanna be with you

cos im just a simple man, i wan to be close with you...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ysterday was rather epic haha...why do i say that? cos my friends witness i gt hug by a girl haha! so funny....that day me and meng went to tampines cos he wans to buy something...initially i dunwan de...then i agree after he say he treat me to lunch(later change to dinner) haha...after that we went to tampinesONE to take a walk around...and both of us went to this shop :uni qlo, its a japanese shop. and its good haha...i somehow or another succumb to the tot of buying one shirt haha...that will be my start of sem shirt liao haha....then we walk around....and and....THEY GT TECHNIKA hahahaha!! operated by timezone of cos...after that went to the old shopping mall then take a bus to city....a very VERY long journey...to dbg...then went down to dolby xchange cos i wanna play jubeat haha...and mark(who is coming later) oso say wanna play...haha..but then when we reach zonex, found out that they gt hold private event. so cant play at zonex liao...so i suggest we play at starfactory in plaza sing. the place was suprisingly empty haha....after we meet mark...we went up to play....he, of cos, failed the 1st song...haha...then i tell him abt linking and hw to play....after tht we link play together , he manage to fail all 3 and i save him 3 times haha...yea...then my 2nd time playing...oli spotted me and wave~ i wave back...haha...then she wanted to hug me...haha long time nver see le...oh wells...cant refuse that offer. =D then i hug her back haha...using 1 hand...i saw meng and mark giving the " wtf happed just nw?""hc gt hugged! wad has the world come to???" ahhhahaha all the funny funny actions come out haha...cos in all the years they had known me....i nver gt hug by a guy...let alone by a girl haha....so they rather surprise that i actually gt hugged...not by a guy but by a girl wor~~ then mark like jealous xD cos he tot its a big deal then meng say"...hug nia mah...like i dun have kena hug b4 liddat" during dinner mark give the omg-u-too! look xD....but all these while...im abit not into the convers...cos im worried abt a girl...sms her to ask her if she is well...and if her teeth still hurts and chat wif her de...haha...i tot that tampines mall is a great place to shop...so one day i wanna take her to tampines mall to let her heart itch...hohoho....think b4 that i shld confiscate her purse haha :P

there is a difference

there really is! lol...im talking abt the difference between an otaku and a guy who has nthing btr to do at home and dun feel like going out oso...

an otaku will :
-read lots of fan fiction
-fantasize about animes coming alive
-attracted to anime type maid cafe
-buy anime products(i mean LOTs of products)
-when u go to his room it will be filled with mangas, anime and anime toys,plushies and other anime related merchandise
-they will have the otaku aura and look(im in the jap cultural club...i know)
-cosplay or like to take pictures of cute cosplayers.
-have a girl he likes but she's a virtual character

WHILE

a guy that gt nthing btr to do at home and dun feel like going out will :
-read ANYTHING thats interesting
-watch ANYTHING that perks his interest
-play ANY games
-listen to music
-plan wad to do the nxt day, if nt nxt event
-blogging(like wad im doing now)
-waiting for ppl to jio him out
-feel that stoning at home sometimes is a bliss
-want to sms his gf or the girl he likes....just to chat
-at certain times feel like its best to shut up and mind his own business
-emo(lol! laugh , but it happens)
-think alot
-play facebook
-read blog
-go forum
-slp alot

so after reading this post, angie which category do u think i belong to? im so gonna prove to you that im not an otaku haha ;P

looking at my cupboard

haha...i find that i onli have 1 or 2 formal shirt. 1 black pants. no tie no blazer. quite afew t-shirts,afew jeans. some shorts. thats it haha...and thats it haha...i wear my shirts in repetition haha...

looking at myslf

yesterday, i had nthing btr to do at home but to stone and jus surf the internet...then decided to slp....at around 4+am....cos i cant seem to get the 'feel' to slp yet...oh wells...yesterday was abit uneventful except that i gt my this wk's schedule and im spending the wkends working at a branch my workplace jus opened. cant say im not really looking forward to my transfer there cos of some other factors...i'll see how bah..hmm...woke up todae 9am+ haha..= 5hrs of slp...hope i dun slp while watch a movie wif angie...so wad shld i do now? hmm...lets recap =)

3 days ago,

after failing my TP for the 2nd time....i felt abit sian 1/2 but the impact not that great as the 1st le...stupid tester...argh...nxt time im gonna take the afternoon session like my friend wahhahaha...anyway...i feel dreaded cos i dunwan to go home and hear my parents asking y i fail, y din i do this y din i do that...abit frustrating cos of the fact that i know wads expected of them from me and i cant live up to that expectation...that feeling of disappointment fell like an anvil on my back...thus, i sms angie abt my results haha...she ask me if later still wan meet anot...i was thinking "hmm y not?" haha...so yea...decide on the timing and place again...then i went home, when i reach home, i was surprised when my dad did not scold me or anything just said " nvm....theres always nxt time" hearing that is a relieve haha...then i stone until abt 5pm b4 going out again to meet up wif angie, we went to JP to, for me is " to jus be wif her talking and such" while for her is, " shopping" lol...hey now, im not complaining here. its really fun to go shopping wif her...espacially if she is buying clothes...im not a fashion freak you know, i dun chase after fashion, i jus wear wads comfortable and the shirt that i like...we went initially went to JP to look see...she's hungry so the 1st stop we make is at kfc. she ask if i wanna eat anything...i said " i go order lor...wad u wan to eat?" but i think she din get my point and heard it as " i dunwan to eat..u go order lor" lol...i turn my head the nxt second, she gone liao, made a beeline towards the Q...hahaha...came back with spicy drumlets or something....but i know its drumlets haha...i watch her as she ate...talk to her abt some funny stuff and wad happen during my TP...after that, we jus walk around...and she walk really fast...which surprised me cos i deliberately slow down in the hope to keep pace, now i have to speed up to catch up haha....ironic isnt it...we like comb the entire JP, then she ask me if she look nice in a kimono top then i....total idiot abt woman's clothing and their names...had the impression of the kimono...and visualise it out...big mistake...but the image is nice...haha...she spotted one kimono top but then suggest that going to cwp would be a btr choice since there gt metro haha...so we take a train back to woodlands and i fish out my psp to tell her more abt prj diva, and play the game...big mistake, cos i left her out. im not taking my psp with me the nxt time i have a date wif her(todae). she heard me and ask me y. i said "cos i left u out le"....she said " no la...im jus tired thats all" with that said i switch off my psp and decided to spent the time on the mrt together...no not as u guys might think....i jus like being with her tht =)

reached cwp, i told her i wan to get some dinner so end up at mac she ask me wad i want to eat. haha out of being random and a joke i always tell my girl-friends and cousins " i wanna eat wad?(think) i wanna eat u haha" u know what she said ?" she said "u know when u said "i want to eat you"it means to say " i wanna fuck you?" she said it wif a rather im-offended kind of eyes....i really dun have the intention and i dunno it has such 'profound' meaning to it...but i dunno y she apologise to me later haha...ate a quick dinner...felt dam stupid cos she watch me eat(she having dinner at home) then we go metro....like immediately. haha...went in there and she go take a picking on dress....i find that when she wears a dress...she is more feminine than she is alrdy is....went in wif 3 dress and onli test 2 but i find them truly stunning...not the dress, its her...im more captivated by her more than anything...truly is beautiful. sad thing is that she is not so used to wearing a dress....cos she said the cloth used is abit thin then can see her undies...well...actually i did see but kept quiet abt it...cos i tot it part of the design. yea...tried both dress and she went out...haha...then we went to technika...i play for a round then i send her back home during that time i ask her abt clothes and see said she is piss off when she see her friend wear something so sui bian while she wear so nice...haha...i ask her if its me would it change lol...she flare up and said " u also ah! make me so angry lor...that time go bugis u wear wad!" haha...totally tio owned...then i retorted" no wad...bugis u gt see teens wear so nice de meh" then she think awhile and said "well, mayb i dun get hw guys think on wad to wear" haha...i jus smiled...well...1st off, some guys are simple, they wear wad they think is good and will look good. like for me...a jean+ some nice shirt...not really the kind that would stand out in public but more of the blend-in-with-the-crowd type. i dunno wads her expectation of being good looking. or to wear nice. but heck. if she wears a dress later and see's my chuan zhuo like that again. she will probably...no..definitely throw her book at me. haha...regardless of that,my feelings wont change de haha...love u lots <3

2 days ago, i gt the msg from my boss that nxt wk friday she plan to open the new branch at holland V le...and im more or less officially being transferred there haha...bit happy and abit sad cos i find that the reason is cos she want me out of the main shop haha...and to jaga a branch shop haha....anyway...i'll see hw lor

ysterday : went to the new shop to take a look. look nice....haha..but will take time to get used to...espacially if its sat and sun (srsly).

some things jus nver change.....

im thinking over abit...jus watch a show...the ugly truth...its a very nice show, its hilarious, its crude and i like it very much....initially wanted to watch it wif angie...but somehow knock it out of my mind when she said something abt being busy...oh wells...which brings about this post for todae...a summary of todae's event.

TODAE......is suppose to be fun...i made mondae a free day becos xm said she wants me to teach her badmintan...everything comfirm le....the day, the time, the place...even booked the court. then as the agreed time looms near...she sms me say cos of something in sch cant make it....well..well...1st feeling, im being pang seh yet again, 2nd feeling, anger, y so last min? why cant u jus sms me or call me afew hrs b4 the time? at least i can gt some friends to come...and i HATE LAST MINUTE SITUATION...soo...sooo very much.therefore, instead of going for my supposed Badminton session, i went to lot1 instead to play jubeat...i know that i nd to dissipate my feelings fast...and i release it by playing...not too shabby...manage to grade up and gt area51 ahaha...manage to forgt the unhappiness. then i went home for a quick dinner b4 going for an online meeting....after that...

angie gimme me a link on the movie" the ugly truth" as i watch...i think abt it too....am i that kind of person? giving other ppl happiness but in turn when asked abt urself...u cant even say a simple "i like you" to a girl...in any, any girl u fancy...which lead me to develope a pathetic feeling of rejection again...y am i like this?issit becos i have this foresight that wad i did will be rejected?

as i sat in my chair thinking abt those things...felt abit numbed and went towards my kitchen window...there i think abt job...how their attitude towards me really sucked...always putting up a fake front.then i went back to my room....sat down to think again...

sadded to think that life is filled with so many restrictions & expectations.
sadded to think that i am always like that....
sadded to that im delusional(other ppl dun see it for themselves but i do)

my heart...is always filled with fear, lonliness and darkness, an occasional spark from the fire of life appear from time to time.
fear that i would lose someone again
feel that i shld be lonely cos i dun deserve anyone
the path i walk is pitch dark, my light extinguished long ago....

y issit life have to be like a gamble...u may lose everything in a single moment...
y am i like this....
y....
............

my visualization of my ideal future...

this is something i visualize as wad i had wanted...at job, a home, a car. a loving wife and 2 children.being able to come home after work and to be greeted by their enthu faces...like how i had always greeted my father whenever he jus got back from work...i wanted to experience it for my own this time...haha...my wife would be either working or at home...haha it would be best if she stay at home and be housewife. but i am not the kind of person that will restrict my wife's action. it would be nice to be in a job i like...a stable job. =)

thinking, planning, soul searching....moolah problem is endless

finally oct has arrive...and so is my pay...its not much...but i will have to make do...spent less(i hope) save more...haiz...sometimes i wonder y my part-time job the pay like shit...reason 1 is mayb cos i did not work alot of days...so yea...and i admit i am not seriously into the job cos of various reasons in which i dunwan to publicise...sometimes...when im laying back to think....i recall my factory working days...u know...its a long period...but then pay is good...cos it adds overtime pay...haha...and end up my pay always $500 and above de...therefore sometimes when i think back, its worthwhile, though factory work is hard and tiring to the extreme. but when u gt ur pay...u may think otherwise...currently this job has manage to sustain me for a year liao...and im still blur as ever...i hope to increase my pay to 6/hr b4 i grad. cos i nd the pay rise b4 my 21st birthday...reason being is that my 2 bank a/c nd to be 500 and above...and currently the amount in both banks is deplorable...i nd to raise 1K in each a/c to be save....and to do that i nd 2K worth of money...500 itself is not a big matter...the problem is hw to sustain the $500. i,nearing another age towards total adulthood...is jus 1 yr away and i srsly nd to plan my finance properly...my driving lessons itself cost me 3K le...minus the financial help my dad gave, i alone fork out 2K+ jus to learn...that 2K can be in my bank growing more interest le...i wonder if i have make the right choice...i hope nxt wk everything will be go according to my way...with that being said....i had alot of thoughts on wad to spent wad nd to spent wads worth to spent on...my woes is that everything is expensive to me now....i nd to save up...srsly...but then living in sg is a hard to save espacially if u nd to spent every time u go out(u nd to take bus/mrt unless ur walking) i have learn not to miss home but miss my family. for i am a simple man, as long as there is a roof above my head and somebody to care for, im contented...all that i nd to do is to support....


i used to think that im young...i still can do alot of things youngster these days often do...but i find that reality is catching up on me haha...fast. nw i experience pain in my knee whenever i bent it for too long...haha...i nd to shave more regularly now...having late nites such as now....thinking of past present and future...a friend of mine once said that i talk like an old man...haha...perhaps that true, cos for me for thinks alot(but acts very little) i have alot of advices that old ppl will say haha...well...coming back to topic...planning wad to do for the future...planning hw to gt that ideal future...bearing the weight of responsibility and wishes of family and relatives...going to army, get a stable job, get married, create a new family, buy a house. own a car....all that come back to the basic foundation = money. when to start saving? perhaps, ever since u know hw to count money from 10cents coins to the $50 note....i manage to save it all up and sadly spent it all in 2mths...becos of this, im always trying to reclaim back whats lost.but then situation requires me to use those money and quickly, those money is yet again gone and i have to replenish it again. there is truly no 'easy money' no money is easy to earn. for that i worry abt my future cos of my current gpa...i dun regret going to my course...i regret not having the potential and determination to gt through it...in my whole life, i have experience the feeling of being the top, and being the bottom. the feeling of having respect and having none at all. i experience the pain of losing a close relative.i experience the sadness,anger, happiness together wif my friends around me....i have experience whats its like to be in love and to be dumped. i experienced a feeling worst than death, i too have a wound that hurts so much i cant say it out in words...i always think that im alone but i am wrong to say im alone....i am always surrounded by ppl...yes i am not alone physically. but deep down inside...kept a door thats locked...the door is chained shut. lying among the darkness is another lock that some1 manage to break b4 going in and leaving again...

chaotic post...sry if my post keep getting u bored and tiring...and making u spoil ur eyes...but this is my life. =)

though i hope that the day will come soon when u know abt my feelings....b4 i faded again...

thats all...nites

the 45min journey

yst...or judging by the time nw, shld be 2 days b4. me and marcus decided to ride our bicycle to sch...just to test it out haha...we met at the bottom of gombak stadium, then proceed to ride all the starting from little guilin to ngee ann poly haha...we set off at 4.30pm...ride through the bicycle path, race down and climb slopes. through out the journey we kept talking abt our new timetables and wad teachers to look out for and i congratulate him for FINALLY passing his tp(his 4th time) i hope i pass mine too....anyway...as we cycle, we explore the road leading to ngee ann via the bus 985 route, and i found out that if u wan to go by main gate, we can actually go thru the junction jus b4 the vehicles enter the highway(its PIE if i rmb correctly). and so as we kept riding...the seat is getting the better of me...causing my butt to hurt...and i jokingly said to marcus"lol...tio anal by my bike ><) lol...both of us laugh...had fun joke about the traffic rule and the TP(traffic police) test point system lol...and finally, we reach ngee ann...which is around 5.15pm so it can be said to be our 45min journey. call kl up and see if we can meet him...he said he in blk 44 then we reach blk 44 he said he at AT hub...and AFTER we went AT hub...he said he at canteen 1...><" dunwan say anymore le....fcking hell, say wad " 2 legs wins 2 wheels" tell me abt it when u ride 45mins on a hard seat from gombak la! oh yea...u said u can chiong to np in 30mins....then i rest my case...u can do it i cant...-.-". lol...then we go makan place slack...i eat my supposedly 'lunch', kaki fuyong, its been a really long time since i eat that hot plate of egg and chicken...i miss them *sniff* lol...then wif a ending at sch....i suggest going up ourspace the slope and race down...haha...there was no car, nobody and its abt 6.30pm in the evening, felt the evening breeze blowing against my face as i race down the slope...its pure fun and exciting, if i can, i would want to do it again, but the tot of pushing my bike up is really a chore so we(they dissuade me in doing so) give up the idea and wait for nxt time haha.....then after, me and marcus took the scenic route again back home....onli that marcus insist that i accompany him to gombak haha...ok la..earlier on he treat me drink i return the favour lor...haha...this is the longest time i spent wif my bike without using it to buy food but use it for pure entertainment haha...its been a very fun day wif the addition of the morning's driving lesson, which was not so stress. i really hope i can pass my tp...though i have no hope of getting a car, but i at least will have the ability to drive on the road =)

the reason y im blogging this is cos i cant slp haha..jus bath finish, eyes feel refreshed again...even though i came back from work...but but....i finally gt my pay!!! =D its considered miserable but i will have to make do...this sem my fyp is gonna keep me really busy...i hope i can ask her out some day, but as she herself is oso busy wif her own schedule,i dunwan to tire her more by asking her out again...hearing or knowing that she is well is ok le =)

afew moments ago i gt afew inspirational phrases but then i have forgotten it again...so i may post if i can rmb it again...IF i rmb...till then, the nxt post will either be the inspirational phrases or a new post le haha =)

nites all