finally oct has arrive...and so is my pay...its not much...but i will have to make do...spent less(i hope) save more...haiz...sometimes i wonder y my part-time job the pay like shit...reason 1 is mayb cos i did not work alot of days...so yea...and i admit i am not seriously into the job cos of various reasons in which i dunwan to publicise...sometimes...when im laying back to think....i recall my factory working days...u know...its a long period...but then pay is good...cos it adds overtime pay...haha...and end up my pay always $500 and above de...therefore sometimes when i think back, its worthwhile, though factory work is hard and tiring to the extreme. but when u gt ur pay...u may think otherwise...currently this job has manage to sustain me for a year liao...and im still blur as ever...i hope to increase my pay to 6/hr b4 i grad. cos i nd the pay rise b4 my 21st birthday...reason being is that my 2 bank a/c nd to be 500 and above...and currently the amount in both banks is deplorable...i nd to raise 1K in each a/c to be save....and to do that i nd 2K worth of money...500 itself is not a big matter...the problem is hw to sustain the $500. i,nearing another age towards total adulthood...is jus 1 yr away and i srsly nd to plan my finance properly...my driving lessons itself cost me 3K le...minus the financial help my dad gave, i alone fork out 2K+ jus to learn...that 2K can be in my bank growing more interest le...i wonder if i have make the right choice...i hope nxt wk everything will be go according to my way...with that being said....i had alot of thoughts on wad to spent wad nd to spent wads worth to spent on...my woes is that everything is expensive to me now....i nd to save up...srsly...but then living in sg is a hard to save espacially if u nd to spent every time u go out(u nd to take bus/mrt unless ur walking) i have learn not to miss home but miss my family. for i am a simple man, as long as there is a roof above my head and somebody to care for, im contented...all that i nd to do is to support....
i used to think that im young...i still can do alot of things youngster these days often do...but i find that reality is catching up on me haha...fast. nw i experience pain in my knee whenever i bent it for too long...haha...i nd to shave more regularly now...having late nites such as now....thinking of past present and future...a friend of mine once said that i talk like an old man...haha...perhaps that true, cos for me for thinks alot(but acts very little) i have alot of advices that old ppl will say haha...well...coming back to topic...planning wad to do for the future...planning hw to gt that ideal future...bearing the weight of responsibility and wishes of family and relatives...going to army, get a stable job, get married, create a new family, buy a house. own a car....all that come back to the basic foundation = money. when to start saving? perhaps, ever since u know hw to count money from 10cents coins to the $50 note....i manage to save it all up and sadly spent it all in 2mths...becos of this, im always trying to reclaim back whats lost.but then situation requires me to use those money and quickly, those money is yet again gone and i have to replenish it again. there is truly no 'easy money' no money is easy to earn. for that i worry abt my future cos of my current gpa...i dun regret going to my course...i regret not having the potential and determination to gt through it...in my whole life, i have experience the feeling of being the top, and being the bottom. the feeling of having respect and having none at all. i experience the pain of losing a close relative.i experience the sadness,anger, happiness together wif my friends around me....i have experience whats its like to be in love and to be dumped. i experienced a feeling worst than death, i too have a wound that hurts so much i cant say it out in words...i always think that im alone but i am wrong to say im alone....i am always surrounded by ppl...yes i am not alone physically. but deep down inside...kept a door thats locked...the door is chained shut. lying among the darkness is another lock that some1 manage to break b4 going in and leaving again...
chaotic post...sry if my post keep getting u bored and tiring...and making u spoil ur eyes...but this is my life. =)
though i hope that the day will come soon when u know abt my feelings....b4 i faded again...
thats all...nites
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