the 3rd day and other things that drive me crazy

Day 3,
Woke up by alarm clock at arnd 7am…check my lappy to find that I finish torrenting jay chou’s album and so I continue my usual routine and reading manga and listening to music….at abt 8.30 I prepare to go out and meet my friends but I suddenly gt stomachache and had no choice but to do big business…haiz…then I rush to meet my friend to eat breakfast b4 going to our cca and after our cca….i go my friend hse play DOTA …we pia 2 sets of game b4 taking a break watching and reading manga…lol..my favorite past-time and play another 2 sets of game b4 I go my relative hse to eat dinner…ha…oh yea….todae i sms her again wad was the her ans…this is how it goes:
(afew days ago…)
Xm: hi…sry to disturb u but im jus telling u that mr chia’s x’mas church service will be held on both morning and afternoon session…..bla…bla…bla…
Me: ok…so er…wanna go together? I mean I dun like to go to church alone…
(then after several mins have pass…)
Me: well, im SORRY to have BOTHER U then bt at the very least reply bck? Dun make me feel like an idiot waiting for ur reply, PRINCESS
Xm: sry abt that , I was taking a bath…I b going for the 1st session
Me: (repeat request…heck care of her reasons)
Xm: I see how 1st...
Me: ok then I await your answer
(todae, the day b4 the church service)
Me: so...may I have ur ans?
Xm: I b going alone
Me: right, see you tml then
Xm: you sound very unhappy as can be seen from ur previous….did I offend you?
Me: no…this is my usual expression…(later another msg)…its jus that I lose the blessing to smile that’s all
(-ideal answers-)
Me: I wonder….(ideal)
Or
Me: u have offended me right from the time when u give me that letter, u wanna noe wad happen to that letter? I burnt it to ashes…wan me to do the same to you? (anger based)
Or
Me: wad makes you think u have offended me? ( to keep on the conversation)

I have known her enough to noe that she wont reply me unless I prompt her…and if its other answer of acceptance I can understand and comply but if u say cannot…then please…PLEASE…ok..i BEG U …reply me earlier so that I dun have to waste another sms…i cant take back the things that I said and will be prepared to accept wad it was tml…but I dun like last min. things…so if u wanna go alone or wadeva bullshit excuse u came up wif…I wan to hear it at least 2 days b4 the event
This reply from her is very disturbing as I dunno whether to gt angry or to continue to talk…but its true…she is the one that wants to end it and after the incident…its either me or her will initiate the break…but wadeva the reasons…wad i said to her is still true…once u giv ur love to someone u cant gt them back…I wish her well but oso at the same time curse her for initiating at such a bad time…
If she was reading this blog right nw…I wan to make this clear:
I GO TO MR CHIA CHURCH SOLELY BECAUSE OF HONOURING MY PROMISE TO YOU THAT I WILL GO AGAIN ….DUN THINK THAT JUS BECAUSE YOU RETURN ME THE MONEY U BORROW FROM ME AND TAKE BCK THE THINGS THAT U LEFT AT MY PLACE U CAN CONSIDER URSELF CLEAR OF DEBT…LET ME TELL U STRAIGHT…U MAY HAVE TAKEN BACK THE PHYSICAL PROPERTIES BUT YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO RETURN THE REN QING U OWE ME…
Let me tell u something…u have never seen me shooting other people..esp girls…and only you that I hold back completely…I dun intend to do that anymore so this is my advice to you : WATCH WAD U SAY TO ME…I may speak little but if u force me I will make u pay…psychologically….

Phew…now that I having finish shouting my problems out…I nw feel somewhat relieve le…I will be wearing formal to the event tml…there is a reason I choose morning session is becos…1st , I am wif her…whether I like it or not…2nd, its btr to fnish it in the morning than at night…3rd , basically jus cos im bored…
Its like wad my msn nickname is “to be happy is a blessing, to be sad to part of life, to be angry is normal, but to said 1st time successes…that’s ridiculous…”[I have lose my blessing to smile ever since u left me…]
I took wad I write seriously , and wad I write correspond directly to my feelings..maybe that’s y I did not go crazy…I gt a device for sharing my thoughts and I gt afew trusted friends whom I can share my problems to…I hope my judgement is right abt them.


Oh yea..in another side note…I think im dying…haha….the illness will probably be stomach cancer…if not , then it’s a slow death of dibetes or I jus think too much…haha…hope at the end of my life…I can go with a smile on my face….like this : |-)…or X-)